,Those who embrace successful thinking are not without down days and disappointment. Rather, those of a successful mindset realize that being in a state of mind that is unappealing can be changed through new thoughts. “The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire, the size of your dream, and how you handle disappointment along the way” – Robert Kiyosaki.


A few weeks ago I had an MRI to help my doctors try to figure out why I had suddenly experienced strange nerve damage in my ear that resulted in 50% hearing loss. The MRI picked up a tumor. Let me tell you, to be told that you have a brain tumor is not what anyone wants to hear. Although it was a relief that the doctors found  the cause of my migraines and hearing loss, it was unnerving.
 
“We don’t fear the unknown. We fear what we think of the unknown”- Teal Swan.
For weeks I have chosen not to focus on the fact that I have a brain tumor, but instead on the fact that had I not had a crazy ear infection and sudden hearing loss, the doctors would not have been looking inside my head in the first place.
 
Today I was transported onto an emotional ride that I did not see coming. Following a phone call from the neuro surgeon to set up my pre-op appointment, I couldn’t help but feel anxiety come over me. This is important, because many people that I talk ask me how to push past anxiety and fear and into a successful mindset. I’d like to assure you, you already have a successful mindset, you just need to operate from there.
 
It’s like having a high performance sports car, yet never getting in and driving it. You are afraid that you will wreck it, someone will steal it, or some other self-defeating thought- that’s okay and normal, but acknowledge that those aren’t thoughts that will get you to where you want to be- behind the wheel, driving your high performance machine, feeling the wind in your hair and the power beneath and all around you.
 
I don’t know why the call from the neuro surgeon threw me off so bad, but it did. In the past year I have transitioned from a 10 year victim of domestic violence (while married to a deputy sheriff) to a survivor. I also was the victor when the criminal justice system wrongly placed me, the victim of domestic violence, in the defending seat. Never did I waver in my belief that justice, the truth that I stood so proudly behind, would prevail.
 
It’s been a tough year, but I’ve maintained a successful mindset. So how was I so upset by a phone call from the neuro surgeon? As I sat in line at Starbucks, I began to cry, overcome by the emotions I was feeling. I quickly grabbed a napkin dabbing away the tears, as the car in front of me would be finished ordering soon.  I gained my composure, pulled forward, and ordered my drink.
 
When I got to the window, the cashier informed me that the car in front of me paid for my drink. Had the driver seen me crying? Or had a force in the universe touched the heart of this person to “pay it forward?”  Who would have known that the person that they just bought a drink for, out of a random act of kindness, just found out they needed surgery to remove a brain tumor?
 
As I thanked the barista and pulled away, tears streamed down my face. I whispered a silent, “thank you.” I needed to be reminded of goodness and joy in that moment. That simple act helped me shift back to a place where I could operate successfully.
 
It’s not that we won’t have disappointments and setbacks it’s how we CHOOSE to be that will determine our success. I challenge you to consider this as you face challenges to your successful mindset. It’s okay to get upset. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t dwell in a place that you don’t wish to be. If you want to dwell in success, get in the driver’s seat.  Opportunity awaits. DRIVE!

There is something about setting a goal so big that you have no clue how you will achieve it and what the final destination will look and feel like that is energizing. The first year that I participated in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Santa Barbara, California, I had no clue what it would be like to complete a marathon and a half, especially the bliss of the finish line.
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Some people see success as a straight and focused path. I believe there is some truth to that, in fact, an acquaintance of mine one said that she keeps a sign above her desk: FOCUS- Follow One Course Until Successful. Although I fully believe in the power of focus, many are misled thinking that a focused course is linear. I’m here to tell you it is filled with twists and turns, unexpected dead-ends, trees fallen across the road, and more- but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth toughing it out.
At mile 21 of the Avon walk on Day One- the Avon Walk is a two-day 39.3 trek, a full 26.2 marathon on day one and ½ marathon, or 13.1 miles on day two- at mile 21, I hit a wall. Let’s keep it real, there are only so many bathrooms, and for a rookie, although I had trained, it’s easy to underestimate hydration- which I did.
Along the route, there are snack and hydration stops, near the end, people were handing out candies. I vividly remember being handed a few Starbursts by a smiling volunteer that offered some encouraging words as she put bits of heaven in my hand. I was so thirsty the Starbursts sounded so good…and then I dropped one! I don’t know what the heck happened to my legs but as I bent down to pick up the candy, my legs did not want to cooperate. My legs were stiff, there was no way to bend and stoop down. I looked like a forward bent zombie scrambling after something crawling along the ground. I had to laugh at myself it was so pathetic.
I don’t recall how I finally was able to pick up the candy, probably my walking buddy, Donna, but I do remember the amazing burst of flavor as my mouth salivated. It was just enough of a burst to get me to the next hydration station. Miles 22-26 were a blur. I remember thinking, that the mile 25 marker has to be coming up soon! I was searching for the finish. I could feel it was close, but it seemed so far. I had gone so far!
Finally, after all the twists and turns from the foggy early morning beach in Santa Barbara, through the searing heat as we climbed the hills through neighborhoods and then down to the polo fields at Summerland, I could see the finish.
The last .2 miles, the street was lined with cheering, smiling faces. Their smiles gave me an adrenaline rush that I will never forget. The effort that I had just put in instantly transferred from exhaustion to elation.  And the next morning when I got up to do another ½ marathon from Summerland to Carpentaria- I did that on the high from the previous day.
I didn’t know what I was in store for when I committed to the Avon Walk, just like many of us don’t fully understand what our goals and dreams will really mean or be like in the end, but what I do know is that the path to success is exciting and full of twists that make the journey interesting.
I will never look at a Starburst candy the same again. It’s what happens along the path to success that makes the journey interesting and gives us many tales to tell. FOCUS on the goal, but be open to the opportunities to grow along the way.
Remember as you go about your week this week that even though you don’t know how you will accomplish what you want to, if you focus on the accomplishment, you will get there. Have an amazing week!
Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com . Watch for her new books to be released in 2016, Dreams Exist and How to Write a Book in 30 Days.
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When beginning any new relationship, time is of the essence. I remember when my ex-husband and I would go to work on zero sleep. We couldn’t get enough of each other. We wanted to capitalize on every moment learning everything about each other- there was just not enough time. Really, every relationship is based on time and quality of time, including the one we have with ourselves. We need to realize the significance and importance of time to foster our relationship with ourselves as we set our sights on success.
Life is not intended for us to wait around and ‘see what someone is going to do for me’ or ‘how is someone going to make me happy.’ Life is about valuing time as time is the only opportunity to accomplish the success that we have within. We are literally provided at birth what we need to exceed- moments and a lifetime. Some lifetimes are shorter than others- so what are you waiting for?
The time we take to get to know ourselves, what is important to us and drives us is critical. Reflection and getting to know who we are and what makes us tick is intended to be a humbling experience. If you cannot be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with? I believe that this is why I was so frustrated as I emerged a survivor of domestic violence with my ex. It wasn’t so much his lies to his close friends, co-workers, and his own family that bugged me, but his dishonesty with himself. Why lie to the one person that can make change?- yourself!
Our investment into ourselves pays off in infinite quantitative and qualitative results. Stop and think about this for a moment, who are you? What do you want? What is important to you?
“Desire is the starting point of all achievement,” Napoleon Hill.
If we don’t stop to think about what we desire- what is important to us, how can we achieve? More importantly, we need to evaluate what within us might lead to less than desirable results? Am I not willing to devote time? Am I not willing to optimize my time to ensure that I invest the time needed to improve me? How bad do you want it?
“When you want to be successful as bad as you want to breathe, then you will be successful,” Eric Thomas.
When you are willing to be completely honest with yourself, appreciating your shortcomings, being willing to work on improving them to optimize the time you invest in your success, then you will be successful.
Reflection is looking deep within, like a reflecting pool. Look at the surface, see the image, and then look beneath the surface. Time is of the essence, if you don’t invest the time to look and see what is there, you are missing out on opportunities.
Reflexive activity takes us from looking to improve and implementing change. For example, I see that I should spend 15 minutes every evening reading a self-improvement book, success blog like this one, and then I take action and do it. I can make excuses for what I don’t have, the time I don’t have, or I can find the time- we already have the time, we just have to be honest enough to admit we aren’t using it very well- ALL WE HAVE IS TIME! OPTIMIZE IT!
There’s no such thing as being too busy. If you really want it, you will MAKE time for it.
Jimi Hendrix once said, “I am the one who has to die when it is time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” I would like to expand on Jimi’s thought to this-
I am the one who is provided a lifetime to achieve. What will I choose to do with the time allotted? For when my time is complete, who do I have to hold accountable, but myself? So why not invest the time to know me? How can I make the greatest impact on this world with the time that I have been provided? I can wait around and make excuses or I can live life to the fullest- live every moment as if it were the last, placing a premium value on every moment.
“The trouble is, you THINK you have time,” Buddha. From the time we enter this world, time has us- it’s time to shift the power of success to you. Carpe Diem- Seize the moment- The are only two times in life, now and too late.
You got this. Make ‘It’ Happen! Have a great week.

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com . Watch for her new books to be released in 2016, Dreams Exist and How to Write a Book in 30 Days.

you There is no path to peace. Peace is the path. - Gandhi.

We live in such a busy and crazy time. From the moment we awaken, we are busy. The alarm sounds and we are jolted into action. It’s no wonder so many of us look forward to the weekend when there is no alarm calling us into action; a time when we can be still and enjoy the peacefulness and quiet of the morning.
I am definitely a morning person and I would challenge those who are not to reconsider what a new day brings. It is said that if we can reinterpret the feeling associated with our current state that we can change our reality. We know this when we stub our toe getting out of bed and immediately think, “Ugh! Is this how my day is going to start?” You have already made it a bad day. You have subconsciously stated that nothing can go well from this point forward.

It is so hard to slow down, but today, I would like to introduce to you a quick meditation practice that will not throw your schedule into a tizzy and you do not have to get up 30 minutes early to practice.  This is an exercise in peace.

Peace is within each of us and it is stillness where we are able to find peace. When our mind is so full with what we need to accomplish, from the moment we wake up, we bypass our peace. The good news is that even if you have already had a hectic day or are in the middle of chaos while reading this, your peace still awaits.

When I say that peace can be found in stillness, that does not mean that you must become paralyzed in a cocoon, isolated from society to tap into it. Peace is in you, we just need to draw it out, from wherever you are.

A great practice in the morning, following the alarm is to lay still. Feel the comfort around you as you think of how that makes you feel. When we connect our physical sensations to our inner sensations, feelings, we are primed to tap into peace.

From this state of feeling, we need to shift to a positive and appreciative train of thought. What are you appreciative for? Some may say, “Nothing. My life is horrible right now. That is why I am searching for some light of hope. I need things to get better.” Okay, let me address that thought. You are alive. You and I have an opportunity to change everything! However, we must tap into peace to unlock the power of change.

I don’t care if you are dying of cancer or your spouse just said they were leaving you. Today, you have the ultimate power to change how you feel and have a better day and more fulfilling life. This is your story; do you want a happy, never-ending story? One that lives on far beyond your last breath? I’m assuming you say yes to that. Then you need peace.

Each day is a day of renewal. Regardless of what you face in the day, the moment when you can connect with the positive energy around you – the universe is comprised of positive and negative ions – tap into the positive – it will take you places!

Awaken to an appreciative state. We all live to leave a legacy. Each day, if even our last on this earth, is another opportunity to influence those around us in a positive way. Believe me, I understand how difficult it can be sometimes when in a storm to see the light; but we must realize that the sun is behind every storm cloud.

From your bed in the morning, or where you are right now, stop. Close your eyes for a moment. Tap into a positive feeling in your body. It could even be an awareness of the comfort of your chair- just become aware.

Next, hold that comfort feeling, that positive energy, what do you appreciate about today? Did you hit one red light instead of five on way to the office? Become aware of that appreciation, “I am so happy that I hit 1 red light instead of 5 today.” Hold that feeling. Mean it. There is no bluffing in appreciation. Be true to yourself.

If you do this when you lay in bed, the moment you awake, it is most effective as it sets forth an energy that will transform your day. Make this your homework. Tomorrow when you awake, stop. Feel the softness of your bed or the coolness in the air. Stay there for a moment. What do you appreciate about in that moment? The beauty of the sun beaming through your window? The fact that you are alive and breathing? Another opportunity for today to be better than yesterday? Hold whatever it is you are appreciative for. Aloud, state, I deserve that.

By proclaiming what it is you deserve, you have set forth to the universe not only what it is that you are happy for, but you are claiming that positive energy as a part of you- what you deserve. Peace comes in that positive energy. When we hold fast to that appreciative state, we are then able to walk the path of peace for the rest of the day.

Why not make it every day? Walk in peace my friends. You deserve it. Have a beautiful day. Better yet, make today more beautiful for someone else. This is your destiny.
 
Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com . Watch for her new books to be released in 2016, The Boomerang Effect: Manifesting Your Dreams and How to Write a Book in 30 Days.

Your boss sends you an email before you arrive at work- “Can you come by my office when you get in?” Oh geez, you think- “I’m in trouble.”

Your spouse wants “to talk about something important.”  Oh no! What did I do?!
Why is it that our mind is naturally programmed for the worst-case scenario? Helen Keller stated, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope.”

The natural tendency to default our thinking into a state of fear and guilt is like junk food for the soul. It perpetuates a malnourished state of mind. What we put in, we get out. The thoughts we nourish, are the ones that grow.

Success is built upon a state of hope and confidence. We cannot break boundaries, push past limitations without an unyielding belief and confidence in what we are doing. So how do we break our junk food habit? Practice.

Turn your face towards the sun, and the shadows fall behind you. You will never find a rainbow if you are always looking down.

The art of nourishing the mind with optimism begins with appreciation. When we can look at the glass and realize that we are happy whether it appears to be half-full, empty, or filled to the brim. Technically, the glass is always full. If it appears half-full of water, it is half filled with air. If it appears empty, it is actually full. Our perception and assumptions inhibit our nutritional intake. If you want a healthy dose of nutrition for the soul, change your perspective.

Can we be overly optimistic? If in every situation we find something to appreciate, then no, as optimism is continually looking through an appreciative lens. A loss is an opportunity to improve and try again. A win, is not the end, it is the first step toward another achievement. Pessimism is seeing only the cloud; Optimism is knowing that the sun is behind it.

We can’t live on junk food. We must practice providing a nutritionally balanced diet to our soul. What we think is what becomes our reality.

It can seem like a daunting task to practice looking for the bright side and re-training your brain to think of a positive alternative to the unknown. It’s okay to think, “I wonder what they want to discuss with me.” However, if you have in mind something positive that you would like to share with them, instead, your attitude going in will definitely help you appreciate whatever news you receive.

There truly is no bad news. Some news may seem disappointing if you had an expectation or desire of a different result, but when you can find strength building food within the thought, the junk food is not a temptation.

Optimism has had a bad rap. It is not always being happy. It is appreciating everything that is thrown at you as an opportunity to say- “I’m not going to let this get me down. I appreciate a chance to be challenged, to improve, and to build confidence.

Optimism is the last hope for the defeated. Get out of the junk food habit. This week, think of something that did not go according to plan at some point in your life, that in the end was a blessing. Start by appreciating that disappointment. From there, focus on one thing you appreciate about this very moment. Hold that thought. Don’t let go.

Have an amazing week, appreciating that the glass is always full.

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com . Her new book, The Boomerang Effect: Manifesting Your Dreams will be released this holiday season.

This week, I was coaching a young lady who is at a transitionary stage in her young life. Having graduated from college and obtaining an occupational certification, she has found herself in a job that she enjoys, but she knows that where she is today is not where she wishes to be tomorrow. What I enjoyed most about talking with this young woman was her positive and grateful attitude.

Thomas Jefferson once said, “Nothing can stop a man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; Nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

The impact of a positive attitude on our success is huge. With the right attitude we can move mountains and turn mountains into molehills. If you have ever been angry and everything around you seems to fall apart, this is a result of attitude. What we put forth is exactly what we receive.

An attitude of gratitude, being thankful for what we do have, as small and insignificant as it may seem, will do wonders toward establishing a successful mindset. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, but the parent of all others” Cicero.

Our gratitude and appreciation for the small things, sets us up to be humble and appreciative of the great responsibility in the big things.

This brings me to defining success, which of course is completely unique to each of us, but there is one common characteristic that can be defined. When what we do and what we have becomes less important than what and how we can give, share, and help, then, and only then, have we truly reached success. Success is less about receiving than about giving.

Many dream of winning the lottery or landing that high-paying dream job, but why? Most will talk about the nice things that they would do for family or friends; they speak of freedom. Sure, as lottery jackpots grow into outrageous amounts, many dream extravagant dreams, but extravagant dreams are important. It is not the extravagance that is importance, but the concept of dreaming big, outside of what we know as possible.
When we think things like, “I’d finally have the time and money to take my family on vacation,” or “I’d be able to start a food program for hungry children in my area,” our thinking is taking on big thinking associated with successful thinking; we are thinking beyond ourselves.

Yesterday I participated in an event as a volunteer. What I did seemed rather insignificant in the grand scheme of the event, but had neither I, nor any of the other volunteers been there, the event could not have taken place. Thousands of people had a great time with their families. I just gave a few hours of my time- and had a great time doing so. Did I have a list of other things that needed to be done or that I could have been doing? Of course, but I have come to learn to appreciate the opportunities to give back and be grateful that I have the health, freedom, and ability to help.

What I have come to learn is that the more you thank life, the more life gives you to be thankful for.
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Now go be a difference maker. The world has enough followers! Have a great week.

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com
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Pain, disappointment, and hurt- when we experience these emotions it can be difficult to part the negative energy associated with them. It is comforting to know, that although while we are in the midst of the darkness associated with these emotions, that light is continually striving to get in. It just takes a spark of light to send darkness running and oftentimes what we miss is that the light comes from others and life around us.

The core of our being is energy. A positive, forward motion of life. We cut our finger, our body sets into motion its powerful healing energy to seal the wound. Our emotional health is no different, but our learned negative thought patterns, fearing the worst, not being able to expect the best, introduces a negative opposition to our positive natural state. Entering into a state of mindfulness can help redirect our energy and allow light into the darkness.

Mindfulness is a state of recognition of our current state in the present. It is a state of being in the present and in the moment, without concern for the experience (past) that got us to that place. What many do not realize is that the present is not just where we are. The present is not a state of all about me, but rather a state of all that is present.

We must remember that within the same ocean of crushing waves, calm exists. Our present state includes polar opposites- somewhere- and it really doesn’t matter where, the existence of an alternate state is the same. This is where the beauty in pain can be discovered.

I realize it seems like an oxymoron to state that there is beauty in pain, but in a conscious present state we can find a spark of light or raging beams of sunshine. Regardless of any current darkness, whether it is hurt, pain, a broken heart, or disappointment, beauty exists. We just need to find the light in the world to part our darkness- even if it begins as dancing fireflies against a moonless evening sky.

There is beauty all around us- a child is being born- the rush of excitement and love fills that family’s hearts- beauty and light. People are falling in love- their hearts collide in a symphony of melodic love beats- beauty and light. A 54 year old grandpa graduates college- his wife, children, and family beam with pride over his never giving up- beauty and light.

Beauty and light exist all around us, no matter where we are. Happiness, joy, and exhilaration are happening every moment somewhere in the world. We may not see it, but it exists. The positive energy is flowing into the world that we are so interconnected with. So in our darkness, light exists- therefore, darkness cannot exist. We are destined to succeed, to be happy, and to allow our positive energy to guide us toward our greater purpose- and it was never intended that this be a solo journey.

It is true that we are born into this world alone and we will leave this world alone in the context of our physical body, but as Martin Luther King Jr. so eloquently stated, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that; Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that,” it is evident that we are interconnected to each other through the beauty of light- we need each other and the energy around us that is a part of the world.

The secret to getting unstuck when we are in that dark place is connecting to the present and this includes others. We need the positive influence and energy of those people and things around us. We need to be reminded that beauty exists. This is why people pray or meditate- they are reconnecting or trying to reconnect to beauty through hope- connecting to a positive beautiful energy.

Walking along a sandy beach, with the sun pouring down upon your skin as you listen to the crashing waves- feel the beauty- realize and recognize the beauty. Recognizing the sweet smell of orange blossoms wafting in through an open window- become aware of the beauty. We have senses for a reason, to experience- allow yourself to experience beauty. “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it” Confucius. God made every sunrise and sunset for you.

This week, share with someone something positive each day. Seek to find ways to share a positive piece of news. I guarantee, by the end of the week, you will recognize that when you seek the beauty in the pain, that pain, like darkness cannot exist.

Have a super week! Namaste!

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

Has someone ever said to you, “You just need to turn that frown upside down”? Ugh! The sheer Polyannaness of this statement and seemingly oversimplification of being happy is maddening. But hold on a sec- there is far more depth and truth to this statement and many of us just pass on by, mistaking a flippant cliché for the sheer brilliance that it is.

It has been said that in the end the only regrets we have are the chances we didn’t take. How many times have you thought to yourself that you should have spoken up and didn’t? How many times have you wished you would have taken a chance on going for something that seemed out of reach? How many times are you going to relive these moments from the past?

Turn that frown upside down! This isn’t just some stupid psychobabble phrase, it’s a reminder that everything is perspective- and there are times when we need to just shift- turn away from self-pity, doubt, regret, fear, and what could have been and smile at a wide open world of opportunity.

We only regret because we choose to focus on the past. We choose to focus on lack and what we haven’t achieved. We just haven’t got there yet! Keep going. Keep trying. Turn that frown upside down means, SHIFT! Shift MUST happen if you are to recognize that although we can learn from our past, we can’t stay there if we want to move forward.

Every time we stop and say to ourselves, I wish I had…. fill in the blank….we are moving backwards, no matter how hard we are trying to move forward. I wish I had is a binding statement of regret that holds us to the past. Let it go. Shift.

Your new opportunity statement then becomes I am. I am going to take advantage of the next opportunity to….. I am going to create an opportunity to….. The power of I am, shifts you into an opportunity perspective and away from a regret perspective.

Benjamin Franklin stated, “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.” Shift! And shift quickly! Turn that frown upside down! And make people wonder what the heck you are smiling at.

Opportunity is a beautiful thing. Carpe Diem. Seize the day by letting go of what you can do nothing about. Shift to see the world of what you have not yet achieved. Shift to realize your opportunity awaits. You are only confined by the walls you build yourself.

Now go turn your frown upside down and see how different your world looks! Have a productive week full of opportunities and possibilities.

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

An acquaintance of mine recently took a lengthy road trip with his three children. He said, “If I hear, are we there yet, one more time….” You could hear the frustration in his voice as he recanted the story. Yet many of us can relate.
Do you remember long trips as a kid and asking or wondering the same question? It was a combination of boredom from our confined space and anxious excitement about the destination. We just wanted to get there-wherever that ‘there’ was.
It has been said that anticipation is nine-tenths of delight. Why is this so? Because our mind is a developer, processor, and generator of creative amazement. Without feeling the sand beneath our toes, we can imagine ourselves walking on a warm, breezy beach. Without being the CEO of a major firm, we can see ourselves sitting behind the big desk in that corner office with the sun pouring through the windows.
Our mind does not require that we purchase “add-ons” to exploit this incredible feature- It’s standard equipment. We have the built in capability to supercharge our lives through the power of delight of thought, anticipating our desires and dreams- the power of imagination.
So how do we use this power so that we don’t constantly ask, “are we there yet?” How do we unleash this power so that we do not feel like we are wandering down a path, or turning down many paths, wondering, where am I going or will I ever get to where I want to be? Most importantly, how do we use this power to achieve and succeed, realizing that our destination is never nor should be final.
Certainly there have been moments when we have made statements like, “I could just stay here forever.” But this really isn’t true. There may be aspects of that place or experience that we may greatly appreciate, but complacency should never be something we strive for. It is natural for us to continually grow, change, and move. The very nature of our cells is a continuum of energy and motion.
I remind people all the time that we really need to appreciate what comes out of the mouth of babes as their honest and curious questioning is really at the core of our success. Yes, even the embarrassing questions in the grocery line like when your three-year old asks, “Why does that man have a baby in his tummy? He’s not a girl?” This truly was a question asked by my granddaughter while my daughter was trapped in line wanting to hide. Okay, so we don’t blurt them out like little Athena, but we have to take ourselves back to the questions we asked as a child. Are we there yet? Shouldn’t we ponder this question regularly instead of being disturbed by it?
Where am I? Am I where I want to be? If not, why? What will take me to my temporary destination? I say temporary because the intent should be to remain in motion but to reach the milestone of each temporary destination.
Just like an old steamer trunk covered in stickers of destinations, so too should our lives be plastered in accomplished destinations as a part of a larger journey. Yes, we may arrive, but we need to have a plan for the next trip, next destination, and our next sticker.
There will inevitably be flat tires along the way. We fix them and move on. We might run out of gas. We find a fuel station, even if we have to push the vehicle uphill to get there (hint: others can help make this task much easier- find people that will help you push when you need it), and we fuel up.
The power to take these actions is within the mind. Think about it. When you get a flat tire, you must think, what do I need to do? I need to go to the trunk and grab the spare and the jack- or you pull out your Auto Club card (I rather like this thought better). Either way you fire up your creativity generator and resolve the problem.
When we ask ourselves if we are there yet or aiming for the place we want to be, we are firing up the generator. The key is to keep the generator fired up with follow-up questions- something like this:
Am I there yet?
No.
Where is there?
There is the top sales representative in my organization.
What is it going to take to make that happen?
What are steps I can take each day to get myself there?
What am I going to do when I run out of gas and I need help pushing?
Who do I have to help push me?
How can I enlist the help of others?
Keep it going. Keep thinking. Always keep thinking forward. This is the key to your journey. Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be?
"I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, and he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours…. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them." Henry David Thoreau- Walden or Life in the Woods.
Fire up the generator. Are we there yet?!
Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

Life is not a race, it is a journey. It is so easy to rush along life's path, hugging every corner like a Ducati at high speed- but there is no prize to finish first- so why sabotage  the true prize? 

Dieter Uchtdorf said, "Sometimes we get so focused on the finish line that we fail to enjoy the journey."

I once read- life is short so live it; love is rare so grab it; dreams are real so chase it; fear is awful so face it; memories are sweet so cherish it. 
​
It seems preposterous that we need to be told to remember to savor the aspects of our lives that make up our life experience- but we seem to forget quite often to stop and enjoy the ride. It's not the destination that brings us joy, it's the journey. 

As the passenger on a trip, be it by car, train, plane, rail, or sail, it would seem we have an advantage over the driver wherein we can take in additional scenery. Or do we? At face value we are not bogged down by focusing on the direction that we are headed or  in steering the machine. We view the experience through a different lens and are provided opportunity to enjoy the ride- that is, if we choose. 

Rushing along and missing the beauty is just as easy from any angle. 

The ride of life is not a missed opportunity for the driver. Just ask an avid Harley rider, equestrian, runner, or surfer. Being in the driver's seat provides full control and the greatest opportunity. The rush of wind in one's face- the beautiful gust filling a sail. We are in the prime position to see what's coming, obstacles and opportunities. We have the power to change direction and slow down or speed up. 

As the wave gains momentum, swelling the sea behind the surfer, the rider quickly springs into position to savor the experience of the wave. The pulse of the rushing, driving, wall of water propels the board and rider into a rush of exhilaration. 

Fear could grip a novice who then chooses not to ride the wave. The choice to savor  experiences, both good or bad, the choice to take chances and to live life as the driver is in each of us. 

We are our choices. Our journey or our race- a choice. Each moment- a choice. Our fulfillment, joy, success- a choice. Our fear, our courage- it lives within us- only as we choose to create it. What we think is what we
create- and it's a choice.

Choose to live your journey- not merely exist. Slow down- enjoy your journey.

Life is really simple. We insist on making it complicated- Confucius. 

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is a mindfulness practitioner and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

As 2015 comes to an end, it's important to remember that every thought is a new opportunity for a new beginning! Happy 2016- Let's choose our new bright future- claim it, believe in it, make it happen! Happy New Year!

Why is it that people struggle with clarity? This is illustrated both professionally and personally through relationship struggles with others as well as ourselves. The common denominator in each is the last, ourselves. Francois Gautier said, “More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” Clarity begins within us.

Often what is in our head does not match what actually comes out of our brain when translated in writing or verbally, or in how we translate within our head what others are communicating to us. Certainty in what we think or communicate, our own thoughts or those being shared by others, can serve as a stumbling block, holding us back from limitless opportunities of clarity; it puts the cart before the horse. Fromm stated it best when he said, “The quest for certainty blocks the quest for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.”

Is anything truly certain? Yes, it is said that death and taxes are certain, but let’s expand on the concept of certainty and how the finality of certainty inhibits our growth, our thinking, and our relationships with others.

Have you ever sat in a meeting with someone and you were certain that the person was wrong? Argued with your friend or spouse because you were certain they didn’t have a clue what they were talking about? What happened? Did you quit listening as you developed your counter-argument?

In these moments, if we do not seek clarity, we miss out on an opportunity to seek knowledge and perhaps form deeper, more meaningful relationships. It is through the quest for clarity that we gain appreciation for others- even if we feel that they have a really stupid point of view- because they propel our thinking and our growth. Shhh…..quiet your mind and listen for a moment.

We hear statements like, “just hear me out,” or “just consider this,” these are statements of others certainty imposed into our area of uncertainty that help bring about clarity of thought through new thinking that encompasses a greater perspective. When we actually listen, without injecting our own thinking and allow ourselves to process what is being said, when we actually consider another way of thinking, we do ourselves a huge favor.

We must realize that we don’t have all the answers and when we are certain, we forego opportunity. “For my part I know nothing with certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream” Vincent Van Gogh.

Don’t get me wrong, I am, in no way stating that we should be wishy-washy and indecisive; that is not what I mean by taking a stance against certainty. We have the amazing computing ability within our minds to extrapolate, manipulate, and refine data to come up with some fabulous ideas, but when we form these ideas into a mold of certainty, there is no room for growth, expansion, and improvement.

Brainstorming sessions can be wonderful as we see the collaborative thought processes of the group morph into a collective growth of clarity. Each person communicates from a state of certainty (their opinion) that what they have to offer will solve the problem- but what is really happening is that uncertainty is driving the development of a clear idea or solution. Clarity is being sought and gained. It is the prevalence of uncertainty as to what the best solution is that cultivates an environment of seeking.

“The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain,” JFK. As we seek to understand the thoughts of others, the opinions of others, and appreciate their perspective, we can appreciate the clarity of our thoughts. We can value how the perspectives of others have led them to their own conclusion. This gives us an opportunity to communicate ideas from where they are.

Clarifying the thoughts of others within our own mind becomes a sharing, learning, and growth opportunity. It becomes an opportunity to bridge gaps, bond ideologies, and form relationships based on mutual respect and appreciation. It is an environment of open-mindedness.

Albert Einstein so brilliantly stated that, “Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved through understanding.” This week, don’t set out to be right or certain- seek clarity. Seek understanding and you will certainly find infinite opportunities in everything you do.

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is a mindfulness practitioner and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

It has been said that brokenness is often the road to breakthrough, yet how do we move from a state of brokenness and confusion to a state of strength and hope? It’s about crushing down limited thoughts, crushing down walls rather than hitting them.

How often have you faced a serious dilemma in your life only to think, you have no options? It’s pretty easy to end up in that thinking. Believe me, I’ve been there. It’s also easy to get stuck there, which can be pretty frustrating, especially for someone who typically has no problem scaling walls. We must realize that the existence of the wall and how ominous it appears is determined in our own thinking.

“Breakthroughs happens when limiting thoughts and behaviors are challenged,” – Fabienne Fredrickson. We can see the wall like the Butterfly Wall on American Ninja Warrior or we can recognize that we just need to think in a new way and take on the challenge. It is when we stare at the wall in defeat that we fail before we begin. It is that failure and brokenness, however, that can help us transcend our current state.

What I want you to understand is that disappointment and perceived failure can be, and often is, the most important part of your breakthrough.

Life has its challenges and these are connected to our hopes, which when things don’t go according to how we want them to go, are crushed. Crushed hopes and broken dreams don’t feel good, but this is part of the process.

I could break into the theme song, Circle of Life, from the Lion King to provide some inspiration here, but stick with me.

Of course it feels much better to be on top of the world than stuck in the mire, but look at your perspective from that deep dark place. In that place, our desires, hopes, and dreams can be resuscitated. Looking down we see nothing but muck, looking up, we can see the world from an angle we hadn't seen before. We now know more. We now see more.

Everything that is real, was imagined first. From a state of brokenness and hopelessness, awareness can be realized. Awareness is an awakening to the reality of the current state, minus our limiting thoughts from our perception. It is was REALLY is, not what we FEEL it is.

So many times in life, we allow challenges to become something that they really are not. We make mountains out of molehills, per say. We build ominous walls, where there really is simply a gate that needs to be opened. Our purpose in life is not to break even, but to break rules, break records, and break through.

I’d like to encourage you today to think of your challenges from a state of what the challenges truly are, not what you perceive them to be. Only in this state of reflection will you see the true image of what needs to be done.

“For things to reveal themselves to us we need to be ready to abandon our views about them,” Thich Nhat Hanh. Broken hopes are the starting point of manifested dreams. Be encouraged- you got this!


Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on the effects of critical thinking programming on organizational leaders. She is a mindfulness practitioner and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

Weekends are my corrective lenses. Like many, I look forward to my weekends as a time to recharge for the activities of the upcoming week, but the most significant point of recharge is to what I can see. I enjoy getting out and going for a nice long run or walk early in the morning and again as the sun begins to set. Although I may need sunglasses to cut through the glare of the sun peering over the mountains or during its decent into the horizon, yet this is a time when I can focus the most clearly.

For many years I wore reading glasses. My eyes would get tired from long hours in front of the computer or reading endless studies as a part of my academic research. I would often take off my glasses and rub my eyes. They were tired and even the corrective lenses seemed to lose their effectiveness. This past February, I decided that I was sick of wearing glasses and I wasn’t going to wear them anymore. I took them off and haven’t used them since.

Over the course of days, weeks, and now months, my eye muscles strengthened and I no longer wear reading glasses. This doesn’t mean that my eyesight is completely healed, but I would say that it has improved significantly. Sometimes I need to turn something a certain way or into the light to adequately read or see the item, but for the most part, I see pretty clear. Had I not chosen to make that choice, I’d have bought into the belief that the only way for me to see was through corrective lenses, but I have learned that I already had corrective lenses.

In life, whether personally or professionally, sometimes we need to temporarily shift away from how we typically look at something to gain clarity of sight. A colleague of mine shared with me his concept of ‘blind spots’. Think about getting new car, renting a car, or borrowing a car- what’s one of the first thing you figure out when driving it? – Where the blind spots are. Blind spots are barriers to our seeing clearly in every instance. Once we know where they are, we can find ways to improve our visibility and perception of what is around us. But first we need a new perspective to identify them.

Think about your life. Where are your blind spots? Are you a deeply caring person that may allow your love and thoughtfulness for others to affect your better judgement? In business, are you so focused on what you know and how things have worked that you can’t consider a new way of doing things? Our vision is often affected by the world around us, how we know things to be, or sometimes even how we want things to be. As I stated earlier, I put on sunglasses to cut through the glare during my runs- how can you cut through the glare of life and the world as you see it? The answer is reflective activities.

For me, I have to get outside. I have a yearning to get out to get in. By that I mean, my reflective activities, going inside my head and my heart are achieved through my runs and walks- although I can’t say that it is limited to these times, but they certainly help facilitate the activity. Getting out and away, for me, becomes a time to gain greater sight of my expectations, hopes, dreams, and overall contentment and satisfaction with how things are going or how I’d like them to go. During this time I gain perspective.

As my sneakers hit the dirt and my external vision takes in the trees and the world around me, I am alone with my thoughts. What I viewed in one way while in another physical surrounding takes on a new perspective. The glare is taken off the situation and I can see new paths to take as well as a new vantage of the path I chose. I can even see the blind spots from this new perspective.

Reflection is an amazing tool, but complete honesty about what you discover is mandatory. You won’t find blind spots and be able to correct them without this. Without honesty, the exercise is as futile as eating a hot fudge sundae while walking at a snail’s-pace on a treadmill.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks inside awakens- Carl Jung.

How do YOU gain perspective? Do you know your blind spots? My weekend runs provide me an opportunity to literally get miles ahead while identifying blind spots. For others it may be mountain biking, sitting on the porch having coffee, or weeding the garden (while you are at it, please come do mine); wherever it is, I encourage you to find that physical spot that may enable you to gain clarity and reduce blind spots. As you make this a regular practice, I can guarantee that you will greatly increase your sight, your effectiveness, and your joy for life.

Jolene Church is currently working on a doctoral dissertation on the effects of critical thinking on organizational leaders. She is a mindfulness practitioner and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Change is not something that many welcome with open arms, especially if it is unexpected. Lao Tzu, however, so brilliantly pointed out that “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are headed.”

How many times have we balked at a major shift in our lives and then later realized that it was in reality a great thing? This can be applied in the business world as people struggle to adapt to changes or are forced through major organizational initiatives to shift the way that they have typically handled processes and procedures and adopt a new way of doing business.

In our personal lives, overnight changes in relationships, our health, or careers can dramatically affect our direction, but it does not have to affect our success trajectory.

Change is inevitable and how we manage change is the key factor to success in our professional and personal lives. As an organizational change manager, I have seen groups of people reset their direction and build brighter futures for themselves and the organization as a result of unexpected organizational change. How did this happen? Vision.

“Without vision, the people perish,” Proverbs 28:19. When we know where we are going or can at least conceptualize our destination, it’s much easier to get there or at least recognize it when we arrive. Imagine never having been to or having ever seen a picture of a beach or to the ocean and then deciding to head there. Would you even know which direction to go? Would you know what you were looking for?

What happens during sudden life shifts is that we are instantly thrust into a situation wherein we are not quite sure which way to go. Our direction is thrown off and what is familiar to us is thrown off; this causes panic and confusion. When we can pause and visualize where we want and need to go, confusion dissipates.

Organizational change agents understand that clarity of vision helps guide people through the maze of confusion. Vision enables people to navigate away from the familiar and comfortable toward a new future- this requires people to be willing to adapt. A strong leader can help facilitate this process in organizational change, but what about for us on a personal level? Who is our leader? The answer- we are our own leader.

“Destined to become is the person you decide to be,” Ralph Waldo Emerson. We each have a self-motivating spirit within us- a success driver. This driver helps propel us through unfamiliar territory and into the future we dream of. Although life can make us feel defeated at times and less than driven, it is still there- it is a beacon within each of us, wanting to shine light on our intended path.

A leader motivates, encourages and inspires. Who knows you better than you? You know what motivates you, so who is better to kick you into high gear toward achievement than you? It’s not just simply that if life gives you lemons, that you make lemonade, but that you look at the unexpected lemons and realize, although I didn’t plan on having lemonade today, it may end up being great. You then need to plan the steps- visualizing- how to transform what you have in front of you into what you desire.

Remember, although change may sometimes come when we least expect it, it only takes one person to change your life into what you want it to be- and that is you. Embrace shift- it happens- embrace the leader within and shift in your new direction of success. It’s a matter of choice to spend time focusing on where you are or where you want to be.

Jolene Church is currently working on a doctoral dissertation on the effects of critical thinking on organizational leaders. She is a mindfulness practitioner and the co-author of Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset. www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

Turn on the television or open a magazine, the world is full of messages that target our comfort and pleasure. The most comfortable sleep, the most indulgent chocolate, or the most relaxing accommodations- we are naturally drawn to these messages that promise us a good and enjoyable experience.

As one could well, imagine, send out a message that promises hard work, frustration, and disappointment on the way to the final product, and not many would buy-in to that pitch. It is no wonder, so many people give up so easily on the way to achieve their dreams. We have been subliminally programmed and conditioned to see discomfort as a bad thing, and therefore our minds are not conditioned for success.

I’m sure everyone has heard the phrase, “No pain; no gain.” It has become the epitome of success and perseverance quotes- but instead of a powerful and inspiring connotation, many see this as simply the negative price we must pay in order to achieve what we want.

It’s amazing how a simple shift in how no pain; no gain is stated, can affect the mind.

If instead, we hear the phrase, “The harder the struggle, the more glorious the triumph,” we instantly feel uplifted.

Instead of deriving meaning from a negative point of view, what we are losing, the focus becomes one that places a value on the pain to gain ratio.

Our mind at the subconscious level is extremely powerful, and therefore we must continually strive for a shift in perspective that can boost our productive thought- thought that will move us forward, rather than hold us back.

No pain- you can’t have, no gain- you can’t have. It may seem rather simple, but from a psychological standpoint, our mind only receives the negative message- no, you can’t have.

There are people who will argue that no pain; no gain is their mantra for success. These people are not immune to the natural negativity of the message, but rather, they have, through productive thinking, over-written the negative programming and assigned a positive message. This is achieved through perspective shifting.

To get ahead, we must most likely endure, persevere, and experience ups and downs. These aren’t bad things, but they aren’t comfortable or enjoyable, which our body is naturally wired to be attracted to. The key is to not let our struggles become our identity.

When we emphasize the negative aspects and wallow in the woes me aspects of the struggle, we block ourselves off from the reward. A shift of perspective in any negative situation is far greater than just simply putting on a happy face and seeing the glass half-full, while wearing rose-colored glasses.

Success is born from struggle and mistakes are proof that we are trying. When we can stop in the middle of what is difficult and recognize our discomfort, we can get excited. Why excited? Recognizing discomfort serves as our indicator that we are growing and that we are out of our comfort zone.

If it hurts, it means that we have pushed ourselves to the point of growing pains- which means that we are experiencing a growth spurt. A shift in perspective requires us to become cognizant that within our struggles reside our greatest opportunity to appreciate our greatness and abilities.

Les Brown continually touts, "You have greatness within," - and you do- even though it may be difficult for you to realize when going through a struggle.

We may feel like we want to give up, that it is too hard. We may feel that if we have to struggle and jump through hoops, that it is not meant to be. These are resulting thoughts from conditioned messaging that plant excuses in our minds.

Martin Luther King Jr. stated, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

Tough times call for even tougher thinking- our brain muscles will get a workout to figure out the necessary steps- and what feels great after a workout? A stretch.

Today, I challenge you to stretch yourself- the best is yet to come. We aren’t defeated when we lose. We are defeated when we quit.

Recognize that when you finally overcome that obstacle, that when you finally get through the struggle, triumph is yours. The difference between try and triumph is a just a little “umph.”

Have an awesome week!

Jolene Church is working on a doctoral dissertation in critical thinking. She is a mindfulness practitioner, success coach, and motivational speaker. Her latest book, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset, helps people break down conditioned barriers in our thinking that inhibit our success. www.SuccessfulThinkingMindset.com

When our best isn’t good enough to hit the goal, we need to get better so that we can take another stab at it. Sounds easy, right? Well, we’ve been taught that practice makes perfect, so in theory, we should just be able to practice the same thing over and over until it becomes second nature. What happens, however, when we do this and we still aren’t on target? What we’ve missed in practicing until perfect are some very important steps. Additionally, we’ve practiced conditioned thinking which holds us back from that we wish to achieve.

Conditioned thinking brings about conditioned responses. We have been told a certain way to do something is the way to succeed, and that is how we respond- but have you ever thought about who is actually showing the way to success? Who made these rules? And why do we blindly accept and follow them?

Practice makes perfect. Is it perfection that we should really strive for? Perfection is without flaw, and by accepting perfection, or that there is a perfect state, we are assuming there is just one way to get there. If we practice until perfect, aren’t we bypassing or overlooking many other paths that could just as surely lead to our success? In practicing until perfect, there is one path, and we have been told that we must simply repeat the same thing over and over and then it will come. Einstein had something to say about this when he stated that “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”  

When we fail to hit the target, fall short of our goals, experience disappointment, lose out on something that we want so bad, we must keep going, but we must pause long enough from time to time to re-assess. “Learn to pause, or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you,” Unknown.

In business when something is not working, we must stop and re-assess. Hitting the pause button gives us time to reflect on where we are and what we have been doing that led us to this point. What’s going well and what’s not. Our lives or our goals can be assessed through the pause as well. This is contrary to the messages that we have received throughout life.

If you fall off the horse, you should get right back on. Most of us have heard this or been told this at some point. Again, like practice makes perfect, we miss something here. Persistence and never giving up is a key to success, but the power is in the pause. If we don’t take time to reflect on what went wrong, how can we improve?

We have been conditioned with seeds to success that are quite misleading. It is no wonder that so many people have their wheels stuck in the sand, with their foot on the gas, wheels spinning in a fury, sand flying everywhere, yet getting nowhere. It’s frustrating, to say the least, when it seems like we are doing everything right, or so we have been told is the right way, yet we fail to experience a breakthrough or the achievement of our dreams.

When our wheels are stuck in the sand, no amount of spinning is going to get us out; we will just continue to lodge ourselves in the rut. What do we do? Hit pause, get out and assess what other steps can be taken to get unstuck. We learn and do something different than what we were doing.

A willingness to learn from where we fell short is as much a key to our success as persistence. Like a combination lock, there is no one key. It takes multiple factors to unlock our success. There is power in the pause because that time of stopping our, practice until perfect and get back on the horse mentality, enables us to reflect and learn. It is through assessment that we can find new paths, develop new techniques, and keep moving toward our goals. Yes, we can get back on the horse and persevere through practice, but we must be willing to learn.

The most important message of getting back on the horse is that we don’t allow fear, doubt, and disappointment to stop us from achieving our goals, but what’s important is that we learn from the experience so that fear, doubt, and disappointment cannot take root in our thinking.

The most important message of practice until perfect is that we never give up; that does not mean we need to keep doing things the same way.

“It’s not how we make mistakes, it’s how we correct them that defines us,” Rachel Wochin. Accepting the shortcoming, pausing to reflect so that we can gain insight and redirect is what will push us through to the next level. It’s not perfecting, it’s refining.

We cannot achieve extraordinary results by doing ordinary things and thinking in a way like everyone else. Once we realize that the road to success is not a neatly cleared and paved path, but instead is a forest that we may take wrong turns in, we learn that we need to be smarter to develop our own path. We take a wrong turn and we learn about that path and move on.

It’s not that our best isn’t good enough, it’s that our thinking isn’t aligned with finding the road to success. “And my problem was that I always tried to go in everyone’s way but my own,” Ralph Ellison. Stop and pause, learn and grow, from there the path becomes evident.

This week take time to hit the pause button. It’s not that you can’t, it’s that you just haven’t figured it out yet.

Jolene Church is a mindfulness practitioner, success coach, and motivational speaker. Her latest book, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset, helps people break down conditioned barriers in our thinking that inhibit our success. www.SuccessfulThinkingMindset.com

Whether we realize it or not, throughout our lives we (at some point) have given far too much credence to other’s opinions, which can contribute to our struggles with success. “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner,” Lao Tzu.

I’m sure at some point in your life your parents used the phrase, ‘If so and so jumped off a bridge, would you?’ So many of us have heard this as a result of our need to fit in by trying to have what our peers have or by doing things that our peers have done or want to do. Later in life this turns into keeping up with the Joneses.

What we don’t fully recognize is that our natural need for approval from others may contribute to challenges in our pursuit of success. This is because we allow others, and society, to define the success principles that we assign to our lives, without any proven track record of success.

We’ve heard many common societal success principles, such as, work hard, put in your time, sacrifice, and so on, but what about the thinking part of success? If we allow others to define how to achieve success, rather than experiencing how to achieve success for ourselves, what are we really learning?

If we follow the success principles that are supposed to work, why is it that so many people do not achieve success? How about we define success and the steps to achieve success for ourselves?

I’m not discounting the value that society has assigned to many of its success principles, like working hard, but what I am emphasizing is the importance of self-awareness when it comes to success and how we achieve it.

Ask a thousand people for the definition of success and chances are that you will get a thousand different answers. There may be groups of similar responses, but as a whole, success is personal; so why would we apply a one-size-fits-all approach to the principles of success?

“The more you love your decisions, the less you will need others to love them,” unknown author. Our life journey is ours. Our experiences are ours. We may share in our experiences with others, but at the end of the day, it is how we feel about our experiences that reside in our mind.

Our subconscious is continually storing information that is deposited, often without us knowing. Our subconscious then drives our habitual responses and actions. When we become conscious about why we take certain actions and the underlying drivers, we can better control our outcomes.

For example, if you become conscious of the fact that you are perpetually late for appointments or that you procrastinate; you can take steps to improve these things. The ball is in your court. When you allow your subconscious to play ball for you, how can you expect to win? You have no active part in the game!

Societal and other’s success principles get stuck in our subconscious, causing us to do things a certain way because that is the way they are done. Let’s not confuse ethical principles or interchange them in this discussion of success principles, as ethical considerations are a completely different animal. Getting ahead, regardless of my definition, yours, or the guy down the street’s definition of success should never come at a cost that causes harm to others.

Our subconscious likes to hold on to information. The longer we allow the information to reside, unchecked, through a lack of awareness and consciousness, the greater likelihood of our acceptance of subconscious information in becoming our thoughts and then beliefs. Beliefs are thoughts that we continually think about.

In order to overcome our tendency to prescribe value to what others define as success, we must ignore the success principles of others and focus on our desires and what we constitute as fulfillment from life. Our success is defined by each of us in our own unique way. Much like two people can see a situation in completely different ways, we should appreciate our own perspective. Mark Twain once said, “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to stop and reflect.”

Other people can enhance our life experience and contribute to our knowledge and understanding of the world around us, but it is up to us to decipher, interpret and apply that knowledge in a way that is beneficial to our well-being.

You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets or with your mind on auto-pilot. Remember, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful,” Buddha. Realize that the road to success is not determined by anyone but you. This week, reflect on your path, where are and what that place means to you. If you do not like where that is, think about your opportunity to be happy- and set a course for your success.

Jolene Church is a mindfulness practitioner, success coach, and motivational speaker. Her latest book, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset, helps people break down conditioned barriers in our thinking that inhibit our success. www.SuccessfulThinkingMindset.com