Dr Jolene Church's Blog Page
A site dedicated to cultivating successful thinking
11/4/2018 1 Comment
Illuminating the Path to Success
Have you ever tried to pull one over on your parent, your best friend, or your boss? You know, you didn’t think that they would understand or that they would be judgmental, so instead you choose to tell a lie. Sometimes these are big, huge, hairy, bold-faced lies, and other times they are, what we commonly refer to as, little white lies. Keep in mind that half a truth is often a great lie and the truth is like the sun.
Imagine walking outside of a dimly lit building on a particularly sunny day and think about just how intense the sun feels on your eyes. You can’t help but squint and wince as the brightness is almost painful to absorb through your senses. It’s a pretty intense feeling, right? Okay, hold that thought!
Our bodies are meant to be whole. When we cut ourselves, our blood cells rush to the wound to quickly start coagulating the blood and begin the healing process of making the wound disappear. Typically, within a week or so, you are good as new. Our mind is just as resilient – yet we understand so little about just how, on the inside, under the surface, our consciousness within our mind is trying to communicate and initiate wholeness and healing.
When we lie, whether to someone else, or to ourselves, this triggers an internal default to correction, because like entering data into a form that doesn’t belong, it’s an error and it cannot be computed correctly. It’s similar to our walking out into the sun and wincing. The brightness of the truth can be almost painful when we see it with our internal eye. When we see it in our external world It can be blinding – and that’s uncomfortable. Truth is like the sun; you can shut it out for a time, but it’s not going away. It still exists.
Fortunately, the truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie perpetuates endless pain, because of what happens when we lie within our subconscious. There is nothing about a little white lie that is innocent because it has the same effect as a big, hairy, audacious lie within.
We manifest what we cannot control. This is why criminal investigators say that eventually a criminal that has gotten away with a lie will slip up. Our truth will always come out. It’s the same as our blood, automatically rushing to the wound. You are automatically trying to self-correct by manifested action, comments, or involuntary facial expressions or movements. This is how your mother could always tell when you were lying! Your body was tattling on you. And you thought she had magical mom powers!
Lying to yourself, truly cannot be accomplished, and so this is an area that must be reckoned with. You may think you are getting away with it, but I’m telling you, it’s going to come out! This is also true when someone makes a statement about you, a situation, or life in general that isn’t particularly true, but guess what? Your auditory system or visual system took note of that. We are so darned efficient!
Our subconscious stores away untruths all the time. They don’t fit anywhere, because they are not true to our truth, or to universal truths. This is why it is incredibly important to dislodge untruths that are stored away and re-engineering your thinking – re-writing the sentences in your thoughts so that they serve you better and support your truth. When we do this, we can make progress toward our goals and be free from limited or destructive thinking.
A client of mine made a statement, “I’m not improving financially.” After some inquiry we realized the lie that he was telling himself was limiting his creativity and ability to free himself to make more money. His truth was that he has consistently improved his financial situation, year after year, but he’s not where he’d like to be, YET! Just this subtle shift in what he told himself was the key for him to unlock his ability to move forward.
We often get stuck on the wrong thoughts. The sentence in our brain is wrong, driving a negative feeling. These limit our actions because we get stuck in a spin cycle and we limit our own actions.
While stuck in spin, my client only could see his 9-5 job on repeat, never getting ahead. He saw, “I’m going to need to replace this job with another income source, but I don’t know how to get there” – and therefore he was stuck – not sure how to get out.
The state of your life is a direct reflection of a state of your mind – Dr. Wayne Dyer
As we begin to illuminate our inner truth, the path to our success is also illuminated. For my client, just realizing that dissatisfaction with a current state does not define him, rather it serves as a driver to set goals and an action plan.
Your path to the truth starts with a simple question: Is it true? This is a yes or no question with no qualifiers or explanations. Yes or no. Can you say this, without a doubt is true?
In my client’s example, is it true that you are not improving financially? At first, he said yes. Without a doubt he also believed this to be true. So, I asked, “Are you in the same place you were 5 years ago, or are you better?”
Me: “Do you have a roof over your head and enough food?”
Him: “Yes, but I’m living paycheck to paycheck.”
Me: “So in reality, it’s not a true statement that you are not improving financially, because you stated that you are doing better than you were, which is progress. The truth seems to be that you are living paycheck to paycheck and that is no okay with you. Is this correct?”
Me: “So how does it feel when you tell yourself that I’m not improving financially?”
Him: “Not good. I feel terrible.”
Me: “Then let’s go with the statement that you felt was truer. That you have continually improved your financial situation year after year and that you want to achieve a level of financial freedom to not live paycheck to paycheck. Now we can develop goals to get you there.”
Him: “That is perfect. And I feel like I can do it this way. I just couldn’t see my way out of it before.”
Me: "That’s because you were stuck on the fact that you make a certain amount per hour at your current job. You started focusing on your current state and the lie you were telling yourself, so the path was dark. How can you get somewhere when you tell yourself that you can’t or that you are a failure? 'I’m not improving financially.' I am statements are powerful and when it conflicts with your inner truth, your default mechanism is saying, 'Send out feeling like crud, because this statement isn’t true.' Once we let in the truth, we now can see that we have a way to resolve this and feel much better in the process."
It can be difficult to peel back the layers of the onion, and yes, it can bring you to tears, but the truth will set you free. It all starts with breaking down the boundaries in your thinking, and is the path to finally living the life of your dreams. And that begins with a choice to uncover your hidden truths. Start now.
Begin by asking yourself what you want. Follow that up with what's holding you back? Start asking for the truth and allow honesty and humility in. If pain or dissatisfaction exist, there is a hidden truth. Let's find it. Let's get you to your successful mindset!
11/6/2018 09:57:42 pm
Dear Dr. Jolene Church!
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Jolene holds Doctorate of Management in Organizational Leadership and is a certified master success coach. Jolene's writing is continually inspired by the challenges that her clients are facing. She finds constant inspiration in the world around her and is profoundly honored to be living her purpose helping others turn impossible into possible.