Dr Jolene Church's Blog Page
A site dedicated to cultivating successful thinking
12/29/2018 0 Comments
Patience is a Learned Habit
You’ve been working towards a dream, you’ve set goals and implemented your action plans, and then there is that crazy time – the wait. Waiting for that dream or goal to come to fruition can be so darned hard. Why is waiting so difficult? Because waiting is defined as the action of staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens. It can be uncomfortable and that is where patience comes in.
For me, 2018 has been a wild ride, with so many crazy twists and turns; it has been exciting and exhausting at the same time, and I must admit that patience is the area in my life that I must continually force self-improvement. I’m a go, go, go-type of person so staying put when I know exactly where I want to go is really difficult.
There is something that I must remind myself, and that is that patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting. Be patient and remember that some things take time.
Another thing to understand is that patience creates results. Patience is not about doing nothing, it’s about constantly doing everything that you can as you wait.
No great thing is created suddenly.
Patience is an action that we take, which transforms wait-time into manifested desires. It’s a time where we exercise our power to create the results that we want. Patience is about being kind to yourself, even when circumstances are out of your control.
Being kind to oneself can be the toughest part of waiting for anything because we can allow ourselves to come up with so many negative “what-ifs” that we can drive ourselves crazy. Our thoughts go into auto-pilot as new thoughts are born from other thoughts like bunnies reproducing out of control. All of a sudden we realize that we are being overrun by thoughts that aren’t serving us.
When we introduce patience into our thinking patterns, we introduce thoughts of “It’s going to be okay, because I say it’s okay.” And let me let you in on a little secret, even if the circumstances aren’t okay, you can be okay – you get to decide that you are okay, despite circumstances.
Patience is a calming influence wherein you accept where you currently are as you actively prepare for the future state that you desire, and being okay in that place. Like everything, practice makes things much easier, and patience is no exception.
The first thought to introduce to practice patience is choosing happiness now. Your thought will sound something like this: “I am looking forward to what I desire, but I choose to not let happiness in this moment become a lost opportunity. I’m choosing to be happy now, right where I am.”
We can get so caught up in thinking of the future that we lose our joy today. Choose to be joyful to introduce patience – let me tell you, it makes the waiting period so much easier. Inviting in and exercising a joyful feeling will help to replace uncomfortable feelings of waiting.
The next thought to introduce to yourself to practice patience is that slowing down creates thorough results. In your joyful place, slowing your thoughts down by focusing on the details needed to bring forth results can actually create more time for you to manifest your desires.
Slowing down chaotic, auto-pilot thinking that tends to focus on what can go wrong and focusing instead on what you can control will allow you to develop well-thought out plans to execute. This will also allow you to think before you speak and think before you act.
Imagine patience as a knob that you are turning down the speed of the activities around you to chill mode. You have the control to slow things down, just by turning the knob. Patience is an act of self-care and love as it protects you from rushing ahead without thinking things through. It is a channel for peace and joy and it is 100% within your control.
These two new thoughts will help you to practice patience, but there is one critical piece that I have purposively left out for last, but it’s actually the beginning – and that is the connector – your breath. Patience begins with a breath. Slowly take in a deep breath and slowly and completely let it out. This is the initiation phase of patience as it is a conscious act of controlling that very thing that you need to sustain life – breath.
Once you have taken the initial cleansing breath in and out, with your second breath choose your new thought to be happy during the wait. Breathe in and out as you process this thought.
Finally, take in the third cleansing breath is your control panel breath – turn the knob down to chill – it’s time to slow down.
Patience is practiced. All things are difficult before they become easy. But think of it this way, you’ve been breathing all of your life; you have mastered that! Breathe in your new peace. Breathe in your control. Breathe in patience.
12/22/2018 0 Comments
Attracting What and WHOM You Desire
Have you ever met someone that was just so uber cool and they just had a vibe about them that you thought, “man, I wish I were that cool”? Is it that these people are cooler than average? Or could it be that their vibration is just more compatible with more people?
Simply put, everything is energy and vibrational energy is everywhere. These super cool people are really no different than you and I or the air we breathe – we are all energy! If you are picking up that uber cool vibe from someone else, that feeling comes from inside of you, from the energy that you are exuding. Like attracts like, especially when it comes to similar energies.
What you admire about that person and what attracts you to that person is the same energy that you have inside of you – you may not have the same manner of delivery as the uber cool person, but you still have that same vibe, it’s just at another level, but what they have is what you are naturally attracted to.
We are attracted to vibrations, not people. When we try to contradict this we typically end up disappointed or disenchanted.
Think of a person that you thought was incredibly attractive, or that you thought, “this is the one!” But once you went on a date or got to know this person, you just didn’t feel it, or they were a complete jerk. When we feel it, that it, is the vibrational energy that matches.
If you consistently attract jerks and losers into your life, you may be tone deaf, and need a bit of help tuning up. Think of a tuning fork. It puts out a tone and you adjust your instrument or voice to align with the tone. Our energies are the same.
You may be sending out the wrong tone or tuning out the tone all together, and thus attracting the jerk. To send out and attract better vibrations, we must do two things – 1) look inside and 2) receive feedback.
Take a Deeper Look
Looking inside to understand the vibrations that you are sending out is key to your healthy vibrational energy. Just because you are attracting jerks doesn’t mean that you are a jerk or sending out jerky vibes. What it means is that you and the energies of the jerk have something in common.
Feelings of low self-esteem, unworthiness, or fears are all negative energies, that quite likely, even the most cocky and arrogant jerk may harbor. If you are harboring these too, guess what? Like attracts like! This is why it is so important to re-engineer our thoughts away from thoughts that aren’t serving us, and to thoughts that make us feel good. I’m thinking of good vibrations! Hey, the Beach Boys were on to something!
A great meditation exercise is to quietly sit for 3-5 minutes on the floor (this helps ground your energy) in a cross-legged position with your eyes closed. To begin, take a few deep cleansing breaths. In through the nose, out through your mouth. From here, rather than emptying your mind completely, you are filling it with thoughts of good feelings about yourself. And if all you can think of are things like “I can’t even think of anything good to think,” simply think, “I’m actually sitting here filling myself up with good.” You just complemented yourself. Think as many positive thoughts about yourself, turning anything that you are working on to improve of yourself into a complement or affirmation (i.e. I’m working on becoming a pro at attracting what I want).
This exercise will increase your vibration. Why? Just think of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. When Eeyore talks, you can literally feel the energy slow. It’s a downer. When Tigger talks, WOOHOO! You have higher energy. Positive energy vibrates faster than negative, so by increasing the energy of your thoughts, you are increasing the vibrational energy that you put out, and you will attract different energy. Meditating and cogitating positive, good thoughts is a great energy booster!
Luck is not all about being in the right place at the right time – it’s all about energy and attracting like energy.
Gaining Insight from Others
Just like you know, who not to ask for an opinion on a good movie to see or restaurant suggestion, not everyone is equally-yoked to give you feedback about yourself. Feedback from someone close to you, however, is really important if you are tone deaf to the tuning fork for your energy. If you are tuning out, because of inner conflict, depression, self-depreciation, or low-self-esteem, someone close to you can tell you what they see about you.
Ask the person to be completely honest and ask how they see you on a scale of 1-10 in the areas of confidence, happiness, and courage – 1 equaling low and 10 equaling high. Ask why they scored you in each of these areas the way that they did. Pay particular attention from a 6 and below. This means that you are manifesting (acting out) lower energy characteristics. Anything below a 10 become your complementing thoughts during meditation and any 10s become your confidence thoughts of energy during meditation – these are your “I am” statements.
An I am statement is something that you believe about yourself. Typically, when someone rates you a 10 in an area, you will readily accept that belief. “I am super confident because so and so told me so and that feels good!”
The most important part is not to become defensive. Instead, take it in and think about how they view you. There may be something that they see that you don’t. Defensiveness is just looking for an excuse to not address what is being said. What they say is their perception. It’s true for them, but may not be true for you. Consider it, especially if it’s not a 10. They may have helped you identify an improvement area!
You need lots and lots of these good feelings to increase your energy and attract what you want.
And that uber cool person? Well, delivery is a totally different topic, but what you can immediately embrace is that what attracts you to that uber cool person is EXACTLY the energy that you desire and matches your natural energetic state! Awesome news right?! Who knows, to someone else you may be that uber cool person?
Keep working on those good vibrations! Namaste!
Doesn’t it seem like no matter how much you THINK that you have something planned out as to how it should work that something out of the blue pops up? Something totally random?
I mean think about it; You have a plan and you are laser focused on what it is that you want, and then all of a sudden an opportunity arises that you would have never imagined would happen. What do you do?
Sometimes the best moments are the moments that are unplanned, and they test our flexibility and challenge our faith and creativity in the realm of infinite possibilities.
Remaining open to the unplanned and flexible enough to become aware that sometimes as we are planning, we can’t see all the options and opportunities that exist. When we remain open and are willing to accept unexpected opportunities, crazy results can happen.
Success isn’t a result spontaneous combustion; You must set yourself on fire, igniting your passion to live the life that you desire and achieve the successful outcomes that you seek.
We curate our success through our dreams and our imagination. When we have a definitive path, and we firmly believe that is the ONLY way, we cut ourselves short from what . The best may indeed be yet to come, but if you don’t allow in options, through spontaneity and an open mind, you may walk right past the door that leads you to wonderment.
Don’t ever lose your sense of wonder.
What if you would have said yes, when you said no, or said no when you said yes? What if you had taken that chance? What if you had just said, “What they heck, why not?”
Spontaneity is the golden key to your creative mind. When was the last time that you did something for the first time? You have no clue what you are doing, and you learn and grow through experience along the way. You are curating new understanding of new paths and opportunities, with each and every new experience. You don’t know what you don’t know.
Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that yields the sheer awesomeness of the human spirit. If you are always trying to be ‘normal’ and always trying to ‘play it safe’, you will never know just how amazing you can be.
Live the life of your dreams – be spontaneous – dreams do come true.
Have you ever felt so excited over something that you thought that you were going to explode? A time where you had an overwhelming feeling of being ecstatic, happy, and joyful, and you just could hardly contain your excitement? It’s an energy that makes you feel like anything is possible and you are supercharged to make things happen!
Why is it that we can’t seem to sustain that level of excitement, that super-charge? And how do we tap in to it so that we can maintain its motivating and creative energy?
It all begins with a question – WHY?
Think about a time that you were super excited. Get a good solid picture in your head and ask yourself why were you excited about the situation in the first place? Where did the excitement come from?
Was it something that you longed for but never truly believed that it would come to fruition? Or perhaps, it was something that you had worked towards and it finally became your reality? The motivation for your excitement isn’t nearly as important as understanding more about what drives your excitement - understanding how you tick.
If you’re not excited about it, it’s not the right path – Abraham Hicks.
Some folks are naturally more pessimistic due to their environmental influences from the womb and beyond and other personality traits, whereas others seem to be marching down a happy path 99% of the time. Regardless, your natural inclination towards excitement, there are 5 steps that can help you generate your own excited energy so that you can increase your joy, motivation, and creative energy.
Expand upon your own sensitivity. Feelings are not taboo. Increase your self-awareness around the joy that you are experiencing from everything that you do. You may just need an attitude adjustment through gratitude and purpose.
When we understand how we currently feel about a project that we are working on or a goal, we can create better feelings if the ones that we are having aren’t serving us. We must become aware of these feelings so that we can change how we are thinking about our current situation.
If you are bored, but ultimately would be excited when you finish, think about how cool it’s going to be when you finish. Imagine that feeling. Be thankful that you are on this journey. Gratitude within the process can do incredible things for unleashing joy and creativity. With your excitement and gratitude toward your desired outcome in mind, begin to curate ideas that would take your project or goal to a whole greater level. Take it up a notch. How does that feel?
Just by shifting how you are viewing and feeling about that goal or project now will change your trajectory and your new feelings. Find excitement in the future and get excited today about what that excitement is going to feel like.
Ground your excited energy through bold, inspired action. Your new attitude is going to be the master key to your creative energy. But like any energy source, it needs grounding so as not to short out or cause damage. Take that new-found excitement as you think about your future excitement and begin curating ideas to speed up or enhance the process. Take bold and inspired action through your excitement. It’s contagious.
Ignore the temptation of the influence of praise and nay-sayers. It seems like you would definitely want to be hearing praise when you are working toward a goal and ignore the Debbie-downers, but actually both can be detrimental. If we believe that we need the energy of others to pump us up, we will equally believe that others can bring us down – not true! We get to decide how we feel, so reducing the significance of other’s opinions is important.
Sure, feedback can help us improve and grow, and it’s necessary, but our belief that others make us feel anything is a whole different story! We are in charge of our feelings, because we are in charge of the thoughts that cause the feelings in the first place. Understanding and embracing this concept will help you shift to more positive energy quicker than anything!
Understand your most creative time. Look, it’s hard for me to get excited before I’ve had a cup of coffee, and I’m a total morning person. I’m super creative early in the day. Understand your natural creative or energy cycle -when is your “power” time? It’s easiest to tap into how you are feeling towards something and re-ignite your excitement and to take bold and inspired actions when you are at your highest energy. Get to know it, and use it to your advantage. Didn’t you know that you have super powers?!
Clear the decks. Nothing can crush your mood, your energy, your motivation, and your creativity like clutter. Mental and physical clutter can block you from flowing in the energy that you need to be in to be performing optimally. If you have a bunch of small tasks that are a money on your back – get them done! I can guarantee you that just by getting those nagging tasks out of the way, you will already begin to feel better.
Worry is a form of mental clutter and we can equally deal with that, just like those nagging tasks. What are you worried about? Maybe it’s not finishing your project in time. Maybe it’s not having enough money to complete the project. Either way – you can choose to focus on a problem that isn’t a reality, or you can choose to focus on the reality – the project (or goal) is currently in process. Fear and worry are focuses on something that hasn’t transpired. Shifting our focus to what is transpiring, our current situation and reality of creating our future, puts us into solution mode; from this position we can make stuff happen, find motivation, ideas, and excitement!
Think of this – Some of the best moments of your life haven’t even happened yet. Don’t let the fear of failing be greater than the excitement of achieving. Stop worrying so much about what can go wrong, and get excited about what can go right.
You get to shift! Switch on excitement and unleash your full potential!
Jolene holds Doctorate of Management in Organizational Leadership and is a certified master success coach. Jolene's writing is continually inspired by the challenges that her clients are facing. She finds constant inspiration in the world around her and is profoundly honored to be living her purpose helping others turn impossible into possible.