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It became apparent to me this week, that Dr. Seuss was one of the greatest success coaches of all time, and that much of what we need to learn about having a successful life can be gleaned from reading his work.
This week, my husband and I attended kid #7’s graduation. Yes, we have so many, they are now numbered. Actually, it’s become somewhat of a joke lately that I’ve run with. People, knowing that I have a bazillion kids ask me, “Now which number kid is that?” Brilliant! I thought! Number them. Now, now… I really am joking. It’s funny though, as it seems with any number of kids, when you are rushed and calling for one of them, regardless if you have 2, or 8 (like me), you end up calling them the wrong name anyhow. I’m sure you have experienced being called any number of your sibling’s names by a frustrated parent. We usually just rattle off names until we get it right- but I digress. Ian (kid 7), had one of the shortest graduation ceremonies that I have ever attended. This was wonderful, especially since we had to arrive hours early to get parking, and then sit on hard bleachers, waiting in anticipation with the swarm of other excited families in the stands. The best part of the ceremony came at the end. The Superintendent of Schools quoted Dr. Seuss, and to my delight, in two sentences, he summed up a life lesson that is a key to success in whatever we do. In a moment, my thoughts of sitting for hours faded away as these words of wisdom, from an unexpected source, shot straight to my heart and made me aware of my appreciation for the experience. I couldn't help but ponder since then, just how many success messages did Dr. Seuss deliver? The quote that started my philosophical journey at the graduation was, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. How many times in life do we get stuck thinking about the finality of a situation or experience, failures, or disappointments? Reflection is necessary in all that we do so that we can grow- but it’s the smile that follows that is the crucial part. Every sunrise exists for you. If we think of each experience as our unique possession from which we have an opportunity to grow wiser and more knowledgeable, we are on a successful path. Jim Rohn stated that “You can’t hire someone to do your push-ups for you.” We cannot experience someone else’s experience. It’s ours and ours alone. We must understand that every sunrise and sunset has our name on it to experience and translate what that experience means to us. In our translation, we have choice. The choice to choose what meaning we derive from our circumstances, and experience is where people often get stuck. Instead of seeing the situation as a learning and growing experience, they choose to focus and get stuck on what has happened. They ask, “Why did this happen?” But they do not have any intention of truly answering the question- which is where we get our smile. Every experience, is simply an experience. There are no good and bad experiences, just experiences. Good and bad are merely perspectives. What most would choose to perceive as bad, typically has great lessons associated- even if it is gaining awareness of the displeasure. We cannot grow when we harbor resentment, disappointment, or grief. This is how we get stuck. If we instead look at the unpleasantness and ask how the situation could have been avoided or what could have been done differently, we have shifted to a productive mindset. A productive mindset is one that is continually producing a forward momentum of thought. Even in undesirable situations that are beyond our control, we can gain insight from how we perceive the situation and begin processing productive thoughts to remedy the situation in the future- this is where we gain control. From a productive mindset, we are able to gain a smile following each experience as we realize it is our choice that puts us in the driver’s seat of life. It is our choice in perspective that will set us on the path for success. Crying over what has just happened, puts us in a recessive mindset. Crying over our immediate experience can be an exercise in awareness from which to grow. In a current state of awareness we have the power to choose. When we are stuck reflecting on past experiences we cannot move forward as we cannot go back to change anything. We can, however, make choices, based on perspective, right now that will affect the future. It has been said that we should climb mountains, not so that the world can see us, but so that we can see the world. “A moment’s insight is sometimes worth a lifetime of experiences. A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimension” Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. So who would have thought that the key to our successful thinking was actually provided to us by Dr. Seuss? “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose,” Dr. Seuss. The choice to smile is yours. It’s all perspective. It’s all choice. It’s your success. Jolene Church is a mindfulness practitioner, success coach, and motivational speaker with the National Speakers Association. Her latest book, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset, helps people break down conditioned barriers in our thinking that inhibits our success. www.SuccessfulThinkingMindset.com
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Why is it, that our minds so easily wander to the dark side, accepting negative or worst-case scenarios instead of being hopeful? Henry Ford stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.” Our ability to control our outcomes is with us all the time, but so many times, we choose to believe that things are out of our control.
Years ago, when I closed my consulting firm, in advance of the house of cards collapsing in the financial sector, I did so, with confidence, that I would have no trouble finding work with another company. Why would I not believe this? I had provided services to some of the largest financial institutions in the world, had a stellar reputation, and had many impressive qualifications gained through my many years as an auditor and transformation specialist. What I did not anticipate were six, long months of scouring job bulletins, speaking with recruiters, sending out resumes, and the loser letters, or non-responses that I would or would not receive. Yes, I coined the term, loser letter. You know the one, it starts…. “Thank you for your interest in….. We regret to inform you, that after reviewing your qualifications…..” and the thought that would enter my mind following this, to finish the sentence was, because you’re a loser. Pretty harsh, right? I joked, when I would tell my family and friends, “I got my loser letter today from ABC Company,” brushing off my disappointment and frustration. Now, did I really believe this? Did I really believe that I was a loser? I’m a highly confident person. How could this be? Whether we care to believe it or not, when we entertain thoughts, allowing them to hang out in our heads- they become beliefs. So, the answer is, yes. Even a person with high self-esteem, can choose to entertain thoughts that seem to go against their character- and these become an unconscious belief. The actual verbalization of the term, loser letter, was a manifestation of my unconscious belief about myself, derived by how I believed others were seeing me- not good enough- or a loser. Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right. This statement by Henry Ford is so profound in truth to our ability to succeed in everything we do. When we think we can, we are accepting belief in ourselves, and our actions will naturally follow our mind. If I believe that I can get out of the chair and walk across the room, I will get up and walk across the room. My thoughts precede my actions. This is rather simplified, but if I don’t think I can, I will likely not try, and my actions will not follow to challenge my accepted beliefs. Think about the miraculous people, who with determination after a serious injury, have done something they were told they could not do. How many times have you become so caught up in the details of how you can, that you didn’t even try? This stems from disbelief; that until you have everything figured out, it can't happen. Let me illustrate how absurd this thinking is. When I finally received an offer for an interview, knowing that if I could just get in front of these people, I’d get the job, I gave it my all. My actions followed my belief- my knowing. I had a belief that I could secure the position- and I did. --And even if I hadn't, that still should not have affected my belief that I could secure a job. Belief is a choice. Why would we go on an interview if we don’t believe that we will get the job? Why would we look our best, present ourselves with confidence, and tell the employer why we are the best person for the job, if we don’t believe it? -- Because our thoughts precede our actions. With each resume, with each interview, our actions are following a belief. Why do we allow disappointment at just one opportunity to become who we are? Why do we choose the dark side of our thoughts? It is, indeed, a choice in perspective. I now know that what I saw, at the time, were not loser letters, opportunity letters . Each rejection is an opportunity to try again, for something better. I understand it’s hard to see that when you are there, but that is the point of this article. When I used the term, loser letter, I was allowing in, entertaining a negative belief, that led me into thinking I can’t. I was attracting more negative because my actions needed to follow my thinking. Our self-worth is not dependent upon what others think or our job status. Our ability to succeed is wholly dependent on what we think and believe, as successful actions will follow. Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times before he finally succeeded. His perseverance was his action following a belief that he could succeed. “If you believe the doubts in your mind, you won’t achieve the dreams in your heart,” Marinella Reka. When we go to turn on a light, we don’t think about how the electricity gets to the switch. We just flip the switch and the room lights. Our thinking is the control switch over the outcomes of our life. Stop pre-judging if the light will come on or not, just flip the switch. Believe that you can and your creativity will be enabled. When you enable your mind to think you can, and then figure out the necessary actions and details, you will accept the belief that there is nothing that you can’t do- and you are in control. “If you really want something, you will find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse,” Jim Rohn. It’s time to start exercising control over your choice to think you can, or think you can’t. Your opportunities await. Jolene Church is a mindfulness practitioner, success coach, and motivational speaker with the National Speakers Association. Her latest book, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset, helps people break down conditioned barriers in our thinking that inhibits our success. www.SuccessfulThinkingMindset.com 5/16/2015 0 Comments Imagineering Your Future Success We cannot judge another’s path if we have not walked their journey. All too often however, we fall into a trap of judging ourselves and cutting ourselves off from infinite possibilities. We rush to judgment about the possible, assigning a label, impossible. The only place that our dreams can become impossible is in our thinking. Likewise, the only place that our dreams can become possible is in our thinking.
Most of us have come to accept the old saying, the best things come to those who wait. There is ultimate wisdom in this statement as it encourages us to savor our journey and persevere. We come to an understanding that there is something to appreciate in waiting for our dream to mature into its majesty. I believe however, if we fail to dream and gain vision, our wait is waste. If we instead embrace a thinking that the best things come to those who create, we can awaken our dreaming mechanism and awaken the realm of possibilities that exist within each of us-which make the wait enjoyable. Walt Disney capitalized on the term, Imagineering. Imagineering is the engineering of dreams into reality. Creating in our minds, dreaming and imagining, enables us to develop a vision of our future. Businesses have known this for years, developing vision and mission statements. Organizations look at themselves and say, what do we want to accomplish? Where is it that we are heading, and why? Organizations understand that in order to get somewhere, they must first know where they are going; then they can plan out the steps to get there. Why is it that we go through life without our own vision and mission? I have a sign in my office home office that says, “Dwell in possibilities.” In my downtown office, my mission statement is proudly displayed: “To motivate and inspire people, to see beyond the seen, and find infinite possibilities just beyond the horizon, to become more than they believe they can be.” I also have a vision statement for my life, as well as a massive list of goals and strategic objectives. Imagineering our lives, setting the direction of our path, to begin turning our dreams into reality requires that we allow ourselves to dream, and dream big. We can’t rush to judgement and pre-determine that our dreams are not achievable because nobody has ever done it before. We also can’t cut ourselves off from infinite possibility by resolving that we lack the resources to achieve our dreams. True, at this very moment, you can’t see how, or you lack the necessary resources, skills, and so on, but that does not mean your dream is impossible. It just means there will be many steps in the process to get there. What do you want? What do you want to achieve? Who do you want to be? “Where there is no vision, the people perish,” Proverbs 29:18. Developing a vision, is the first step in Imagineering your future. W. Clement Stone stated, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve. Therefore, we must believe in possibilities or there are none. Do you believe in possible? Your homework for today is to explore your possibilities. Cast the vision of your future. “Let today be the day you give up who you’ve been for who you can become,” Hal Elrod. I encourage you, if you do not have a personal mission statement and a vision for your future, develop one. Start by thinking about what drives you and makes you happy. Stop and dream. Imagineer your future- as impossible as your dream may seem. Set your sights high and never, never, never give up. “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this; you haven’t,” Thomas Edison. Let the Imagineering begin. Don’t judge, just dream. Now go build an awesome new future. Jolene Church is a mindfulness practitioner, success coach, and motivational speaker. Her latest book, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset, helps people break down conditioned barriers in our thinking that inhibit our success. www.SuccessfulThinkingMindset.com So something didn’t go according to plan or how you would have liked it to go. Falling down doesn’t mean failure. If it did, we would have all been labeled as failures within the first year of life, learning to walk. Over the course of our lives conditioned thinking eats at our self-confidence and the way we handle and perceive falling down.
Do you remember the 1997 song Tubthumping by Chumbawamba? If not, you can click the video link and then curse me for getting the song stuck in your head for the rest of the day (you’re welcome). The catchy lyrics boldly proclaimed: I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down Somehow we so readily accept the term failure as something negative. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we always succeeded and never failed? I’d like to propose that the answer should be, NO; let me explain. When we learned to walk, we fell down, A LOT. Falling down didn’t faze us. We fell down and we got up again, and we did it again. Sure, we may have got frustrated, but we kept it up until we had it. Sometimes when we fell down, we crawled for a short while, and then got up and attempted to walk again. The important thing was that we kept re-attempting and moving forward. So many people get hung up on the fact that they “failed” that they can’t move past that point. It’s like a baby dropping to the ground and deciding never to attempt to crawl or walk again- just keeping its diaper glued to the ground. How can we learn if we don’t keep trying? So we fall down- but like the song- we just get up again. What many miss in the song is the intro: We’ll be singing When we’re winning Failing to achieve is really an opportunity to succeed. One door closes and another opens. Effort will release its reward, only when we refuse to quit. Winston Churchill said, “If you are going through hell, keep going.” When we refuse to see failure as an option, the only option left is success. Failure then takes a positive turn and transforms into future opportunity. I guarantee you that any set back that you have experienced is only temporary. This very moment is now the past. What will you learn from this moment to help you achieve your dream? What will you learn from what didn’t go well? Just sing to yourself: I’ll be singing When I’m winning I get knocked down, but I get up again Ain’t nothing gonna keep me down! The key is to get up, brush yourself off and keep moving toward your goal. You got this! It’s time to start believing in yourself again like you did when you learned to walk. Now go experience an awesome life! We'll be singing, when we're winning. Jolene Church is a motivational speaker and coach with the National Speakers Association. Jolene’s book, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset, helps readers break down thinking barriers that inhibit success and growth. They say that the brain begins working the moment that we are conceived, but quits working the moment we get up to speak in front of a group of people. Why are we so freaked out about communication? In this three part communication series, I will provide you with tips to overcome communication challenges in public speaking, business writing, and interpersonal communication.
So what is it about speaking in front of a group of people that creates such anxiety? Why is it that people fear public speaking over death? It’s true! More people fear death, second only to speaking in front of a crowd. The answer is pretty simple, really. People are afraid of being judged, looking stupid, and feeling like a failure. How can we overcome this? Practice, practice, practice. With Toastmasters International, I often explain to those wanting to become more confident public speakers, that getting comfortable speaking in front of groups is like learning to drive a car. At first, we are afraid to lessen our death grip off of the steering wheel and we feel that we are unprepared for the highway. Over time, we loosen our grip and become confident in our abilities to travel any road. Public speaking can progress like our driving journey, but it takes practice. When I got behind the wheel the first time in drivers education, I had never been behind the wheel of a car. I hadn’t sat on my parents lap or been given “parking lot” instructions by a family member. I remember worrying about maneuvering the big hunk of metal around other vehicles and braking without giving my instructor whiplash. The freeway was scary. There were so many other cars, and they all made it look so easy! Why did I feel so out of control? The reason was that it was new and I hadn’t worked at it yet. After battling the dreaded uphill start in a stick shift, turning down a one-way street, and taking a corner much faster than I should have because I hit the gas instead of the brake, I began to become comfortable and confident in my new learned ability. Similarly, my journey in public speaking was much the same. It takes practice to become comfortable with all of the different speaking situations, especially in business. Within the business environment, many find speaking in front of groups even more challenging than speaking at church, a club, or in any other group environment. Why is this? People fear looking dumb in front of their business associates. They don’t want their business colleagues to look down on them or question their ability to do their job. There are many ways to begin to overcome this fear. First, this is not a paid promotion for Toastmasters, but at the same time, I’d like to say that Toastmasters International is an excellent way to get over the fear of public speaking. Toastmaster clubs provide an encouraging, growth environment, focused on helping people overcome their fear of public speaking. Toastmasters International has over 300,000 members in 126 countries and has a mission to “empower individuals to become more effective communicators and leaders.” Famous Toastmasters include: motivational speaker- Les Brown, actor/comedian- Tim Allen, and author of “Think and Grow Rich”- Napoleon Hill, just to name a few. Toastmaster clubs provide an excellent way, often during your lunch hour, to grow your speaking confidence. So what tricks can you begin to employ immediately to “get behind the wheel?” I’d like to propose the following tips:
In a fast-paced, technologically advanced society, the role of mindfulness to achieve success is of increasing importance. Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, unconditionally. So what does this mean? Mindfulness stems from the ancient practice of connecting one’s self to the present moment through increased awareness. It is in the present moment we can appreciate where we are, for what it is.
Appreciation is important, whether we want to be there or not, as it is through appreciation that we gain perspective. Mindfulness has been shown to enhance perspective, performance, decision making and problem solving, innovation, as well as contributing to reducing bias and stress. From these results, it is easy to understand how mindfulness can contribute to both business and personal success. Broadened perspective. Mindfulness is based on a tenet of viewing life from the present moment. By looking and assessing where we are, and consider where we would like to go, we have a better perspective than one that is burdened by the past. From this perspective we may be able to see our situation or challenges in a new light. When we see where we are, right now, we can more carefully analyze opportunities that may exist, by appreciating this crossroad. When we possess a traditional perspective, instead of a mindful one, we assess how we got to where we are which introduces bias into our potential outcomes and limits our thinking as we become stuck on the role of the past. A broadened perspective provides us with greater possibilities. Improved Performance. Mindfulness is a continual learning mindset which leads to improved performance and excellence. When we consider our organizations or ourselves as “the best,” we shortchange learning opportunities and improved performance. The best indicates that there is nothing better. It indicates that we have arrived, not that we still have somewhere to go. When we consider ourselves continual learners we embrace a philosophy that no matter how great we have become, there is always room for improvement- and this may not be based on what we have done in the past. Solutions based on context. Within mindfulness, context is of utmost importance. Just because we have succeeded in business or on a personal level by taking certain steps, this does not mean that what we have done is the only way. There may be a better strategy to take us to a better place, but if we don’t judge each present moment, within context, we miss out on many opportunities, especially the opportunity of appreciating the crossroad. Focusing on what we’ve done limits our solutions. Instead, consider context to broaden perspective and enhance innovation in the present. Work/life balance. Work and life do not need to be in competition with one another. When we are mindful, we can integrate both into a harmonious union. When we increase our awareness to understand when we are feeling overwhelmed, we can practice mindful decisions to bring our harmony into balance. Balance helps increase awareness of hidden opportunities, in the present, as we reflect on what we want or where we want to be from a perspective of learning. What we can learn right now, is critical to balancing out chaos and gaining clear perspective. Increased creativity and innovation. When we are facing problems and become stuck, applying mindfulness can help us see the clearing through the weeds, instead of relying on habits to resolve. For example, if we are faced with dropping sales or a low income, mindfulness helps us evaluate new solutions. This is an opportunity to say, “I am here. What exists where I am?” We may have tried one way to approach a problem or done things that are traditionally always done (habits), but why do it that way? Mindfulness helps us to see that this moment is what matters. We now have an opportunity to find a better solution. Think of mindfulness as a field of limitless possibilities. There are no boundaries- not from the past, nor in the future. We are where we are- what exists in this place? In business this is an opportunity to appreciate a dedicated workforce, despite slipping sales. In one’s personal life this may be health or drive. Fair and bias-free mindset. One of the great benefits of mindfulness is that it is a conduit for fair and biased-free thinking. When we are freed from how we did things and consider where we are, we reduce blame and guilt, and are better able to move forward. Mindfulness is liberating, especially in decision making and solution finding as it opens our minds to a limitless future, by considering the present state and that what is, is not fixed. When we keep fluidity in how we perceive the future and what we desire, we open ourselves up to better outcomes. Mindfulness is a powerful, transformative tool. It is the key to helping us break habitual strongholds by seeing every moment as an opportunity to learn and grow. “Don’t wish it were easier. Wish you were better” Jim Rohn. Jolene Church is a mindfulness practitioner, success coach, and motivational speaker. Her latest book, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset, helps people break down conditioned barriers in our thinking that inhibits our success. www.SuccessfulThinkingMindset.com |
AuthorJolene holds Doctorate of Management in Organizational Leadership and is a certified master success coach. Jolene's writing is continually inspired by the challenges that her clients are facing. She finds constant inspiration in the world around her and is profoundly honored to be living her purpose helping others turn impossible into possible. 
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