Is there a recipe for success? Are there steps to take, that if followed, would ensure our success? Yes. The answer is simple, learn to fail, and learn to fail epically well.

Throughout life, the journey is filled with peaks and valleys, times of challenge and times of triumph. Along life’s path, on our quest for success, our choices, not our circumstances, set forth into motion our trajectory toward our desires.

We aren’t victims of life’s circumstances, unless we choose to be.

So, what exactly is success? Is it measured by prestige? A car? The corner office? A feeling? The dictionary defines success as “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” I like this definition because it gets to the root of success- its basis- thinking.

Success is merely an accepted belief, a thought that we prescribe meaning, but how do we find it? How do we achieve it?

I grew up under the mantras of, “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again,” and “Just do it.” Have I ever given up? Heck yes. I, like many, have gotten tired along the way. We don’t see the results that we expected, so we stop. Sometimes we decide that what were doing wasn’t working so we try something new, abandoning the former path.

Along life’s journey, through heartache, joy, and enlightenment, I have come to understand that when we give up, we miss out on the opportunities and blessings of failing. We fail to recognize the gift of the fail.

​Thomas Edison so eloquently articulated the gift of failing when he said, “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work….Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

With this said, let’s look at the definition of failure:

1. “Lack of success.”
2. “The omission of expected or required action.”

The first definition lacks some context that I will dive into. Failure does not equal a lack of success, rather, it indicates success exists. Failure is a part of success. Somewhat of a chicken and the egg argument, but truly contemporaneous.

Let’s look at it this way, if I define darkness as lack or void of light, it does not mean that light does not exist. Darkness only exits within its defined parameters. One teensy tiny glimmer of light nullifies darkness. The same holds true for failure. Failure is a belief. We must accept a thought that our expectation was not met. One teensy tiny glimmer of hope nullifies failure. Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. Hope is the catalyst for success and is yet another accepted belief.

When properly combined, the two definitions of failure provide us with a recipe for success.
We run from failure, fear failure. Instead we should be embracing epically mastering failure. How well we fail, and our thoughts that prescribe our individual meaning of failure, determine our outcomes.

Our expectation is a thought which when prescribed a meaning, determines how we feel about the thought. If I expected certain results and failed to achieve those expected results, then I simply had an omission of a required action.

Wayne Gretzky stated that, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.”

What if the results that you expected or desired took too long? Who is setting the bar? Who is assigning the meaning? And if the results take longer than expected to be achieved, is it truly failure if you simply haven’t succeeded yet? Aren’t failures, an omission of expected or required actions, a part of the learning process?

Learning to fail means that we are on the path of success, that success exists. Therefore, if success exists, failure cannot at the same time, unless you call it failure. Just because your results are taking longer than you expected, this doesn’t mean failure, it means omission. There is something missing from the actions that you have taken.

If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again, truly spells out the recipe. It doesn’t mean abandon the dream and what you desire, it means learn from what didn’t work. We need to strive to fail because it means we are trying, we are learning, and we are staying in the path of success.

Failing is just practicing succeeding. To get really good at something, you need to practice! Practice creates confidence. Confidence empowers you.

Many have bought into the myth that failure is a bad thing. I’m here to tell you it means that you are on the road to success.

If you were to have never tried to take another step after falling as a toddler, you’d have never walked, and never ran. Success is defined by you. Only you know what success means because you create that meaning. Nobody can define success for you. If you redefine failure as a step to mastering success and a gift, then you have given yourself hope. Hope paves the way to success.
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Only in darkness can you see the stars. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Every day when you awake you have an opportunity to reserve your dreams for your sleeping hours or you can live them in your waking hours. What would you prefer? I, for one, choose to live my dreams, but that requires action. 

You see, actions are a result of a decision, a thought to act. You can choose to sit idly by and let opportunity fly past or you can choose to make your dreams your reality. Let's think for a moment what is stopping you. Is it fear? Is it lack of knowledge? Is it a lack of confidence? 

What I am going to say next may seem a bit harsh, but these are all excuses so that you can avoid the truth. If you used any of these excuses, at the root is a feeling. Let me walk you through this. I will start with a simple recipe.

A thought leads to a feeling which leads to an action and gives you your result. 

We typically make up an excuse because of a circumstance. I'm afraid because... I don't know how... I'm not sure if I can... A circumstance makes us feel a certain way. This thought creates a feeling such as fear, self-consciousness, uncertainty, etc. We then invest in that thought because of how it makes us feel. If we feel uneasy because we don't know how we will accomplish what we want, we accept a thought that we can't. That is our choice.

Instead of using not knowing as an opportunity to figure things out, we use it as a crutch. Or we use fear of failure as an excuse to never move forward. Our thoughts create our reality. We have the ultimate choice every day to decide how we feel, which produces our results. 

Our lives are a product of choices. Why choose to limit yourself?

In my individual and group coaching sessions, I love watching the light bulbs pop on when people realize just how much power they have had all along, regardless of their circumstances. Circumstances only have the power you prescribe to them - through the feeling you CHOOSE to assign. 

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. ~ Wayne Dyer

This week focus on the concept that your thoughts are driven by a feeling and that there is a pinnacle juncture for you when you CHOOSE to feel a certain way because that choice will set forth into action your results.

If you want to live your dream, your choice will not be one based in fear, but one that better serves you. 

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In each of us, success is hardwired into our DNA, but with that hard-wiring is a system fault. This fault in our wiring is the central component to doubt and fear. It is the driving force that holds you back from achieving your dreams, your goals, and provides you with justification for giving in or not achieving.

Your faith can move mountains and your doubt can create them.

The fault? Ego.

Ego is defined as “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.” Yet this is often based on unrealistic beliefs.

When we refer to ego, what typically comes to mind is the imbalance of ego, egotism. An egotistical person is considered “selfish and arrogant, excessively conceited, self-centered, or absorbed in themselves.” Ego does not support your success, but instead keeps you focused outside of the single place that you can drive change.

The ego’s role is to keep us trapped in the past or focused on lack. The only position of change is the present.

Many have heard and accept the definition of insanity as provided by Albert Einstein, “ doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” A definition of insanity that is better suited when it comes to combatting the effects of our own destructive thinking, constructed by our ego, is believing in something that has not happened more than truth that exists in the present.

In other words, reality is rational thinking. Insanity is believing in unreal thoughts.

It is common for the ego to introduce a negative thought by introducing something from the past to use as an excuse or predicting a negative outcome into the future. When we allow insanity to take precedence in our thoughts, believing more in what is not than what is, then we short-circuit our success.

When we are self-centered, we cannot focus on the big picture and we cannot thrive in our talents and purpose. Ego holds you back.

There is much talk of mindfulness, and much confusion over what it is and how to practice its peace-giving ways. Simply put, mindfulness is a focus on the present. Mindfulness is the quality or state of being conscious or aware. In this state, we can drive out ego and gain clarity and awareness to achieve.

In my book Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset, I explain how barriers to our thinking, whether self-imposed (by ego) or through environmental influences (to our ego), develop and hold us back from our natural state of successful thinking.

As children we do not see limits. We seek guidance because we don’t pretend to have all the answers. We are in a pure ego-less state. Over time, limits become introduced to our thinking and we allow our ego, and its insanity, to drive our decisions.

When we think, what are the odds of getting that job or anything else that we desire, we are allowing ego to introduce doubtful and unreal thoughts- insanity. We accept a belief of something that hasn’t even happened over what could happen.

Mindfulness begins with self-love, and this has nothing to do with conceit. When we love ourselves, we protect our mind and our potential from destructive thinking and anything that can destroy our peace.
When ego tries to drive you to a thought of being wronged, catapulting you into the past, it disrupts your peace in this moment- it robs you of your present peace. When ego tries to convince you of an undesired outcome, it disrupts your peace in this moment. Simply put, your ego, “sense of self-esteem or self-worth” is judgement.

Love does not judge. Many of us are our own worst enemy, because our “sense of self-esteem or self-worth” does not focus on self-love- which is preservation of our present peace. Present peace is a place that we can operate most effectively to be successful.

When we love ourselves and protect our peace, we are able to deconstruct doubt and fear and achieve our purpose. When we don’t allow fear and doubt in, we open ourselves up to opportunities that we would have otherwise closed ourselves off to.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Where there is love, there is life.”

We cannot let fear and doubt rob us of the life that we desire. Anything that is not born of love is untrue and will not serve you.

This week your exercise is to identify and acknowledge when your peace is being robbed, when ego is taking you out of the present. There is no “poor me” or “he/she did this or that to me” in the present. The present is, “I am”. The present understands that in every experience is a lesson to use to improve our future.

You must be the change that you wish to see in the world. What will you base your reality on, truth or fiction?
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As you catch your ego introducing non-productive thoughts, anything that contradicts what you desire, acknowledge by saying, “That thought is untrue and does not serve me. I am love. I create my own reality.”

Let your faith, belief in love, help you to achieve the success you were destined to achieve. Have a great week!

We are destined to succeed. This is built into the DNA of every human. There are examples of this that are involuntary such as the will to survive and heal. We cut our finger, and our body gets to work healing so that we are whole again. We have instinct which alerts us when something is wrong.

Our success wiring is not an aftermarket item. It is a standard feature. Just like any system, our success can be compromised through manual disabling or manipulation. Sometimes others manipulate our wiring- yes, we allowed them in to disable our systems- sometimes willfully, by giving in, and sometimes subtly, by allowing disabling and deflating thoughts.

What we must understand is that we can choose to support success disabling systems within us or we can choose to protect our success system through a series of ongoing system updates. One way is to work on eliminating worry- stop thinking about, entertaining, and accepting doubt or anticipated outcomes of something that hasn’t even happened yet, or may never happen.  

Why believe more in what you don’t want to happen than what you do?! But for some reason, we allow this system virus in.

Worry does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, but instead depletes today’s strength. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. (Matthew 6:34).

Our success is always with us; not something elusive that we are continually chasing. Success means many different things to many people, but the elements of success are the same.

1)      You are great, because you were created to be great;
2)      You can achieve, because every moment that you breath is a new opportunity to achieve;
3)      You were meant to thrive, not just survive.

Think about #3. You were meant to thrive. Our survival instinct is so strong. If you have no air, your body will fight like heck to get the precious air that it needs. We are born natural fighters, and it is this fighter instinct, that is your catalyst to thriving- but in order to thrive, we must identify what is driving our inner fighter.

What is that thing inside of you, that you simply must do? It is you. It defines you.

Finding your ‘It’, that something special in you that sets you apart from everyone else in the world, is the key to your tapping into your destined success.

Then there are the things you dream of. I wish I could…. There is a link between your It and your dreams- your It is what is going to get your there.

In my coaching sessions, I ask a series of questions, probing to help individuals identify their ‘It’. These people range from students to executives. What do you wish you could achieve? Why? What are you good at? How do others perceive you? If you could leave a legacy on this world, and money were of no concern, what would that legacy be?

Success is personal. I ask these questions because I need to help shift individual’s mirror back onto and into themselves.

We can easily get so hung up on worrying about what someone else is thinking, if something has been done before, on what others say, or don’t say, and the list goes on. We can become paralyzed when our mirror gets clouded for us to see our greatness. Worry becomes our fog.

We can easily drag ourselves down to the levels of other’s expectations and choose to be beaten by their experiences, or we can choose to just look at the person responsible for our own success, irrespective of what others believe or have experienced.

Advice is one thing, but when we seek advice from others, we should be seeking perspective to engage our thinking, not accept and file what the other person says. Don’t allow other’s opinions to manipulate your success system.

They might think I’m stupid. Why? Do their concerns have merit? What can be done to eliminate their concerns? The answer all too often is to quit. They were right. It can’t be done. I was stupid for even thinking that could be done.

Instead, look inside. If you have a desire to achieve something, but perhaps your original plan was logically flawed, look at it another way. Cutting off your dreams, or worrying will not get you to where you need to be.

Remember, you were destined to achieve. You are designed to succeed. Your existence is not accidental. We all have a purpose. We all have It.

We are all responsible for our success.

The price of greatness is responsibility. Winston Churchill

Today you are charged with the responsibility of your success system. As you find yourself worrying about outcomes that you do not want, instead focus on what it is that you want.

Want it like you are fighting for air- fight for it! You are a fighter! Go for it now!

Make this a week great!
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Jolene Church is a Human Resource Executive, Professor of Business, a coach, author, and professional speaker. Her academic and professional career has been devoted to helping others unleash excellence by breaking down success barriers. Jolene’s books are available on Amazon.

There is something about simply being kind that cannot be underestimated. The power of the connection between people is so strong, yet so many choose to go at life alone, afraid to reach out. This goes for both those in need of kindness and those who choose to deliver. We are known as humankind for a reason. Kindness is an integral part of our life experience.

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late,” Ralph Waldo Emerson.
You may never know the impact of your kindness on another, however your kindness could potentially change someone’s entire day or life. That may seem a bit melodramatic, but it’s true. A smile, a kind word of encouragement, you just never know.

I was talking to an amazing song writer earlier this year, discussing how love truly is the language of our existence, and without it, we cannot survive. Kindness is a bi-product of love, the heartbeat of the universe. When we give of ourselves freely, without an agenda, just giving, we provide a beat for the pulse where one may not have existed. Our kind words and actions are life giving.

If you have ever had someone give you a complement or offer you sage advice on a problem that you were facing, you know just how good it feels to receive kindness.

A couple years ago while waiting on my prescription, I noticed a young couple scrambling to find enough money to pay for their prescription. I could see they were embarrassed and the young lady was visibly ill. The young man with her was so obviously in love with her; he just wanted to be able to take care of her and at this moment, he couldn’t. I quietly motioned to the other clerk that I’d take care of the cost of their prescription. The couple didn’t see this interaction and I’d hoped that I could get away before they knew that I had paid for the prescription.  I didn’t have my way and they graciously thanked me.

Why did I not want them to know? I believe that kindness is not something that should be on display. The young couple were about the age of my kids. I thought to myself that I would hope that someone would do the same for my kids if in that situation. I could see that they were embarrassed that they didn’t have the money for the prescription, but they needed help and I could assist.

When we live to be the reason that people believe in the goodness of humankind we affect the pulse of the universe. It’s like chi cardio! Kindness doesn’t have to cost a thing, but there is a huge cost without it.
Think of just how beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it. You will never have a completely bad day if you allow kindness in at least once. If you can be one thing- be kind.

We rise by lifting others. Make this your mission this week. Make it happen!

Have you ever woke up and made a mental list of all of the things that you needed to do that day?  Did you accomplish everything on that list?  What about a goal that you had in your mind?  Did you accomplish that?
It is quite amazing what we are capable of when we set our mind to something and more importantly when we are willing to come clean with ourselves when we are making excuses.
I am a “lister.”  I mentally list and/or physically take out a pen, paper, and list.  My fellow “listers” can relate to the great personal satisfaction it is to cross something off that list.  I even know people, and admittedly, I have done it myself, that go back and add something extra that they did to the list, just for the sheer satisfaction of crossing it off!
For those who are not physical listers, chances are very good that nearly everyone has at some point, if not regularly made a mental list of what needed to be accomplished.  It feels great to accomplish what we set out to do.
Why is it that the majority does not do this with something that we greatly desire?  Why is it that we look at the big things different from the little operational tasks?  This is what I have found in working one on one with my clients and in my seminars to be a key factor between people achieving success and reaching their goals or not.
In his book, The 4 Disciplines of Execution (2012), Sean Covey explains why most organizations fail to meet their objectives and stated goals.  They have their sites affixed on the wrong thing.  This translates well into us reaching personal success.
For every goal and every dream, there are steps along the way.  If you want to be a pro basketball player, there are hours and hours of practice and dedication, honing your talent.  And for a CPA, much studying, practice, and diligence to pass the exam.  There are steps along the way that we must cross off our list, but instead, we just focus on the end-result.  We want to keep our eye on the prize, but we also must focus on being present, and what we can do today to keep things going in the direction we want them to go.
Of course there will be set backs.  Giving up on your goal is like slashing your other three tires because you have one flat.  Do not limit your challenges, challenge your limits.  If it does not challenge you, it will not change you.  This takes knowing what your next step is and ensuring that the next step is crossed off the list.  This is where shift happens.
As you take on each challenge, getting one step closer to the prize, you become motivated and with your eyes affixed on the prize more and more.  The exhilaration of crossing the item off the list is incredible!
Another roadblock seems to be experienced by those who have achieved or come very close to huge success, enough to have a good taste of it and know they really like it.  It seems that these people want to try to replicate their past list, as if they just erased the cross out and had the original item back on the list.  It does not work that way.
Circumstances change and because something worked in the past one way, there is no guarantee of it working in the future.  Develop your list with fresh reflection and insight taking into account the circumstances that exist today.
The power to change your future is alive and thriving now.  Never let waiting become your habit.  Live your dreams and take risks.  Life is happening now.

Why is it that we get so busy, yet can’t seem to get done what we need to get done? Maybe we need to remember that NO is a complete sentence! Or maybe we just need to work smart, not busier.
It seems that with the rapid advancement of technology and our perpetual connectedness with our smart devices that it is easy to become so busy, yet so ineffective. The easiest way to be effective is to just to it, but how do we just do it when it seems like there aren’t enough hours in the day?

The following 6 tips may just help you get a jump on Increasing Your Productivity and Lessening Your ‘Busy’.

1. Make a List and Take an Ax to It! – Time management experts have long touted the claims of making lists, prioritizing, and the sense of accomplishment as you cross items off your list, but what they don’t tell you is that you really need to be ruthless at times and take an ax to your list. Yes, hack and chop away at the items that really don’t need to be on your list. Ask yourself, “Can this be delegated? Does this really need to be done now? Or can it be postponed or even eliminated?” There are certainly times when we realize that the hours in the day are not nearly as big as our appetite for busy. A packed calendar does not equal effective or productive- it just means busy. Are you spending time that you can’t get back efficiently?

2. Reboot- Your computer freezes. The mouse won’t do anything. The keyboard keys are useless. What do you do? A hard reboot. When we are busy, just plain busy, a forced reboot is vital to a fresh perspective, new thinking, and a new approach. Walk away from the computer, from the stack of papers, from that ‘thing’ that HAS to be done right this second. If even for 5 minutes, walk away. And when I say walk away, I mean away….like out of the building, down the street….grab a coffee….REBOOT. Believe me, your work is still going to be there, but you need to power down for no less than 5 minutes, 15 is better and if you do a 30 min reboot, more power to you! The key is to unplug, power down, and then turn it on. Don’t short circuit from over processing… simply put… chillax… then come back and hit it hard.

3. Fun Size It! - What?! You heard me. Fun size it. Just like Snickers fun size bars, break down your bigger tasks and projects into bite size morsels. Make it feel satisfying that you just accomplished that portion of the project so that you look forward to the next portion. And like #1- it’s okay to introduce portion control here… maybe you need to go on a diet and ax some stuff off your plate! However, when you create smaller size tasks, projects, and goals you seem to miraculously gain more hours in the day as less time is wasted on trying to do it all and efficiency is gained in getting it done!

4. Get Over Yourself- Sure, you have some great ideas, approaches, and strategies, but the phrase “two heads are better than one” is really a key to your success. Sometime we get so hung up and stuck in the way that “it has to be” that we don’t realize that is what is making us so busy and ineffective. Stop for a moment and bounce an idea off your colleagues head. And if you can do this while you are doing #2 and going for a power walk, you my friend are catching on rather quickly! Get out of your head, that whatever it is you are a working on has to be done in this way and by that group…talk it out…vent. Have you ever tried explaining something to someone and just by explaining it, the solution became clear? Stuck makes you busy…not effective. Get out of your head and solicit input from others. You will be amazed at how efficient and effective you become!

5. Ready… Aim! Goal! - If you don’t have daily goals, you will just keep being busy and not necessarily effective. Make your list, make it fun sized, add in some reboot sessions, and time to pick others brains, but most importantly set daily, weekly, and monthly goals. Set fun sized goals- easy wins and some that are a bit of a stretch. Don’t give yourself a monumental list that you would need to clone yourself over and over to achieve. Set a few easy win goals and some that stretch you over the period of a month. You will be amazed at how the fun sized goals add up over that time period and how much you accomplish. One thing is for sure, when you start seeing how many tasks you achieve in a day, week, and month that contribute to your goal, your momentum seems to increase and it seems like there are more hours in the day. Strive for accomplishment of the bigger picture. Busy is an unfocused view of the big picture where everything blurs from the activity, but nothing really gets done.

6. Be the Big Kahuna- When I have you imagine a surf competition with historic waves in Hawaii what do you imagine? An insane surfer attempting to traverse the massive face of a wall of wave, right? But what you don’t think about is that the surfer is being observed and ranked on his/her performance while attempting to ride the wave. In business we need to be like that big kahuna surfer and be held accountable for what we are attempting...is your form right? Or are you just all over the place? We need someone who can hold us accountable for what we say we are going to accomplish and who might be able to point out flaws in our execution- flaws that just keep us ‘busy’, not necessarily conquering the wave.
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Just remember that successful people are not gifted or lucky, they just work smart and then succeed on purpose.
 

I was sitting in traffic this week, on my way into the office, and couldn’t help but focus on the moment. For many, sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic would be irritating and set a negative tone for the day, but in that moment as I saw cars jam-packed in both directions, I couldn’t help but feel grateful. Among many things, that I instantly became grateful for was where I was going- to work. I am blessed to work for an amazing organization- and even if I didn’t work for an amazing organization and just held ‘a job,’ at least I would have more than someone unemployed. I also was sitting in my car. I don’t drive a fancy car, but it’s a nice car- and more importantly, I have a car!
Although I teach on opportunity thinking as a way to shift away from the natural lack-based mindset, I’m no different from anyone else, and I too, must re-focus continually. Instead of feeding into negative thought patterns, “you are going to be late because of this traffic,” I chose to become appreciative for what I have instead of circumstances beyond my control. My day could have started-off terrible, but I chose for it to be different.
Every day is the picture that you paint. There is joy in being, but we must remind ourselves to tap into our inner joy so that we can experience it and unleash successful outcomes awaiting their emergence.
Awareness allows us to get outside of our mind and observe it in action. Awareness is an amazing success tool that if we choose to use, can help us unlock our successful mindset.
How are awareness and success so inter-connected? Awareness is a state of being that puts us into a present state of what is. From where you are, you cannot only determine where you would like to be, but also how to get there.
If you get in your car without any idea of where you are going, why go? With no destination in mind, it seems silly to get in your car. What we do in our careers and in our personal lives is oftentimes the same. In coaching sessions, I often ask, “Are you sitting in the passenger seat of your car?” That question always gets a strange look, but every person gets it. Even stranger a reaction is when I ask, “Are you sitting in the driver’s seat of your car?” The answer is usually, “Why, yes!” This is usually followed by some explanation to validate the response. This is always met with a challenge thought. “Tell me why, day after day you get in your car without knowing where you are going.” For seemingly successful executives the shock that follows is usually no different than a high-schoolers response.
After deeper discussions and reflective thought, each person gets the bigger picture. Success transcends material wealth, a great career, or millionaire status- it is a state of mind and being that attends to a greater calling and connectedness to the world around us.
Our lives serve a greater purpose than filling space on this planet. When you get in the car, you must figure out where you are going. What fuels you? Our inner joy is an endless fuel supply.
“Find out where joy resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss the joy is to miss all,” Robert Louis Stevenson.
We must be aware to fuel our inner success. We must become aware to tap into our joy. Success is hard-wired into us and it is weaved into the fabric of joy. Joy shines like the sun through pitch-blackness, illuminating our surroundings and experiences. When we become aware and take action as a result of the joy from within, we can experience success. We make a deliberate choice to set our direction and get in the car and drive.
It’s okay if we get stuck in traffic; at least you have traffic to be stuck in. It gives you time to reflect and get back into the moment. Traffic gives us time to shift, re-assess, and become aware.
As you go about your week and go through traffic, use this as your visual cue to shift. It is your moment to pause and appreciate where it is you are. Only from knowing and appreciating where you are, will you get to where you were intended and desire to be. Enjoy your traffic!
 

They say actions speak louder than words, but there is also something to be said about deliberate action, driven by deliberate thoughts and words.

Don’t wait until the iron is hot to strike, instead, strike the iron to make it hot.

To be successful we need a sense of deliberation. Success is not about dumb luck or chance, although both of these can happen. Success can be broken down into a 5-step procedure.

1) Success begins with a thought that we wrap our heart around and partner with. Dreaming is the first step to success, but we must be deliberate in our dreaming. It is imperative when we have the thought that we don’t shoot down our thinking immediately.

The mind is wired for sense making. If something has not been done, it is natural for the mind to immediately fire back with a thought, “but that hasn’t been done. It’s impossible.” The key is for you to just accept the thought and then say, “why not me?” Wrap your heart around your thought and make it a dream by…

2) Deciding to accept the challenge. Our wild and crazy thoughts are just that. They are wild stallions running through our minds. You can capture and tame or you can learn to run with it and experience the exhilaration of freedom of thought through dream manifestation.

When you decide to do something, it is a deliberate act. You take action. You strike to make the iron hot rather than waiting around for dumb luck, chance, or the classic excuse, “if it’s meant to be, things will fall into place.”

Excuses are a time thief. Have a goal, accept responsibility, and take action.

3) Taking action will breathe life into your dream. When we decide to put forth action so that we can achieve, we make a deliberate effort toward success. You can only fail if you do not try or if you give up. Well done is better than well said.

Develop your dream through a series of actions and steps that you believe will get you closer to achieving your dream.

Take action to see reward. Do nothing and be ignored.

The action step supports steps 1 and 2 wherein you develop what you will be doing, including how you will communicate to others and yourself your dream. This includes telling others what you intend to do and deciding to not let any negative thinking from others influence your dream. What’s cool about negative opinions is that someone might introduce a potential challenge that you may not have thought about and you can use this step to develop a work around- thank you negative person for helping my dream development process!

4) Of course action means that you must be persistent in your implementation, which is step 4. We can develop and conceptualize all we want but until we actually implement and become persistent in our implementation, nothing happens.

Authors Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen were rejected more than 150 times by publishers and spent more than 18 months taking action, selling books out of the back of a car until Chicken Soup for the Soul became a hit. Most people would have given up. Which leads me to step 5…

5) Never give up! You might need to make major revisions to your original plan; learning and growing until you finally achieve your dream, but never give up. Initially, you may not have known or understood many aspects that fit into the puzzle, but as you gain that additional knowledge, integrate it. Again, this is a deliberate action- choosing to continue learning, tweaking, until finally IT HAPPENS!

You deserve success. The key is to not rely on luck or happenstance but instead to be deliberate about being successful. Success doesn’t come to you, you need to deliberately seek it out and deliberately take steps to get there.

This week, practice being deliberate in everything you do, no matter how small a thought. Use this 5-step framework, if even to clean your desk at work or get the laundry done. Believe me, you will see results! Now have a deliberately awesome week!

Jolene Church is currently finalizing her doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com . Watch for her new books to be released in 2016/17, Dreams Exist and How to Write a Book in 30 Days.

On this day, two years ago, my friend received a fortune cookie that looked like this. If you are like many, you would be a bit upset. Not only was the fortune “missing,” but a chunk of the cookie was gone. If we remove our emotions and our naturally inclined thinking, we can get quite a bit from this cookie. What an amazing peek into the future. Rather than a “missing” fortune, the fortune, according to the cookie, was unwritten, and although a chunk was torn out, it remained intact.

The mind naturally looks for what’s missing- because its job is to put pieces together and make sense. Our mind goes straight to what’s wrong with this picture- the cookie is jacked! Yet this is the same fun game tool that provides us with a fun little conversation- a fortune. Okay, it’s usually not a fortune, it’s a random statement or fact, but it’s called a fortune cookie for a reason.

Even if we were to look at a fortune cookie as just that, insight into the future, what is the mind supposed to make out of the missing fortune that is supposed to be there? Look for what’s wrong. The cookie then becomes an omen. No fortune = bad sign. Missing chunk of cookie = even worse.

A chunk of my heart and soul was indeed ripped out this past year, yet I am missing nothing and I am still in one piece. Just like the brain tumor I am facing to have removed, sometimes it’s necessary to remove toxicity that prevents you from being at your very best.  

There may not have been a fun little piece of paper to help provoke the development of a thought that might be birthed into an idea, dream, and reality, but what wasn’t there was even better. The entire middle was gutted- gone- wide open. WOW!

Nothing is in the way to an amazing future- why?- Because our future is unwritten. There is nothing in the way, not even a blank slip of paper.  The only influences on our dreams are our own thoughts.
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Think about this- excuses are the mind’s way of making up stuff- to fix the puzzle of why you don’t have something- why you haven’t achieved a dream. The beauty is that we have been awesomely created to override the autocorrect function of the brain. Yep, our brains are like our iPhones- when something stupid comes out, you have the power to correct it.

You will never have an empty fortune- you only have an awesome future. As Abraham Lincoln once said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

#MakeItHappen this week! Have an amazing week.

,Those who embrace successful thinking are not without down days and disappointment. Rather, those of a successful mindset realize that being in a state of mind that is unappealing can be changed through new thoughts. “The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire, the size of your dream, and how you handle disappointment along the way” – Robert Kiyosaki.


A few weeks ago I had an MRI to help my doctors try to figure out why I had suddenly experienced strange nerve damage in my ear that resulted in 50% hearing loss. The MRI picked up a tumor. Let me tell you, to be told that you have a brain tumor is not what anyone wants to hear. Although it was a relief that the doctors found  the cause of my migraines and hearing loss, it was unnerving.
 
“We don’t fear the unknown. We fear what we think of the unknown”- Teal Swan.
For weeks I have chosen not to focus on the fact that I have a brain tumor, but instead on the fact that had I not had a crazy ear infection and sudden hearing loss, the doctors would not have been looking inside my head in the first place.
 
Today I was transported onto an emotional ride that I did not see coming. Following a phone call from the neuro surgeon to set up my pre-op appointment, I couldn’t help but feel anxiety come over me. This is important, because many people that I talk ask me how to push past anxiety and fear and into a successful mindset. I’d like to assure you, you already have a successful mindset, you just need to operate from there.
 
It’s like having a high performance sports car, yet never getting in and driving it. You are afraid that you will wreck it, someone will steal it, or some other self-defeating thought- that’s okay and normal, but acknowledge that those aren’t thoughts that will get you to where you want to be- behind the wheel, driving your high performance machine, feeling the wind in your hair and the power beneath and all around you.
 
I don’t know why the call from the neuro surgeon threw me off so bad, but it did. In the past year I have transitioned from a 10 year victim of domestic violence (while married to a deputy sheriff) to a survivor. I also was the victor when the criminal justice system wrongly placed me, the victim of domestic violence, in the defending seat. Never did I waver in my belief that justice, the truth that I stood so proudly behind, would prevail.
 
It’s been a tough year, but I’ve maintained a successful mindset. So how was I so upset by a phone call from the neuro surgeon? As I sat in line at Starbucks, I began to cry, overcome by the emotions I was feeling. I quickly grabbed a napkin dabbing away the tears, as the car in front of me would be finished ordering soon.  I gained my composure, pulled forward, and ordered my drink.
 
When I got to the window, the cashier informed me that the car in front of me paid for my drink. Had the driver seen me crying? Or had a force in the universe touched the heart of this person to “pay it forward?”  Who would have known that the person that they just bought a drink for, out of a random act of kindness, just found out they needed surgery to remove a brain tumor?
 
As I thanked the barista and pulled away, tears streamed down my face. I whispered a silent, “thank you.” I needed to be reminded of goodness and joy in that moment. That simple act helped me shift back to a place where I could operate successfully.
 
It’s not that we won’t have disappointments and setbacks it’s how we CHOOSE to be that will determine our success. I challenge you to consider this as you face challenges to your successful mindset. It’s okay to get upset. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t dwell in a place that you don’t wish to be. If you want to dwell in success, get in the driver’s seat.  Opportunity awaits. DRIVE!

There is something about setting a goal so big that you have no clue how you will achieve it and what the final destination will look and feel like that is energizing. The first year that I participated in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Santa Barbara, California, I had no clue what it would be like to complete a marathon and a half, especially the bliss of the finish line.
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Some people see success as a straight and focused path. I believe there is some truth to that, in fact, an acquaintance of mine one said that she keeps a sign above her desk: FOCUS- Follow One Course Until Successful. Although I fully believe in the power of focus, many are misled thinking that a focused course is linear. I’m here to tell you it is filled with twists and turns, unexpected dead-ends, trees fallen across the road, and more- but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth toughing it out.
At mile 21 of the Avon walk on Day One- the Avon Walk is a two-day 39.3 trek, a full 26.2 marathon on day one and ½ marathon, or 13.1 miles on day two- at mile 21, I hit a wall. Let’s keep it real, there are only so many bathrooms, and for a rookie, although I had trained, it’s easy to underestimate hydration- which I did.
Along the route, there are snack and hydration stops, near the end, people were handing out candies. I vividly remember being handed a few Starbursts by a smiling volunteer that offered some encouraging words as she put bits of heaven in my hand. I was so thirsty the Starbursts sounded so good…and then I dropped one! I don’t know what the heck happened to my legs but as I bent down to pick up the candy, my legs did not want to cooperate. My legs were stiff, there was no way to bend and stoop down. I looked like a forward bent zombie scrambling after something crawling along the ground. I had to laugh at myself it was so pathetic.
I don’t recall how I finally was able to pick up the candy, probably my walking buddy, Donna, but I do remember the amazing burst of flavor as my mouth salivated. It was just enough of a burst to get me to the next hydration station. Miles 22-26 were a blur. I remember thinking, that the mile 25 marker has to be coming up soon! I was searching for the finish. I could feel it was close, but it seemed so far. I had gone so far!
Finally, after all the twists and turns from the foggy early morning beach in Santa Barbara, through the searing heat as we climbed the hills through neighborhoods and then down to the polo fields at Summerland, I could see the finish.
The last .2 miles, the street was lined with cheering, smiling faces. Their smiles gave me an adrenaline rush that I will never forget. The effort that I had just put in instantly transferred from exhaustion to elation.  And the next morning when I got up to do another ½ marathon from Summerland to Carpentaria- I did that on the high from the previous day.
I didn’t know what I was in store for when I committed to the Avon Walk, just like many of us don’t fully understand what our goals and dreams will really mean or be like in the end, but what I do know is that the path to success is exciting and full of twists that make the journey interesting.
I will never look at a Starburst candy the same again. It’s what happens along the path to success that makes the journey interesting and gives us many tales to tell. FOCUS on the goal, but be open to the opportunities to grow along the way.
Remember as you go about your week this week that even though you don’t know how you will accomplish what you want to, if you focus on the accomplishment, you will get there. Have an amazing week!
Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com . Watch for her new books to be released in 2016, Dreams Exist and How to Write a Book in 30 Days.
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When beginning any new relationship, time is of the essence. I remember when my ex-husband and I would go to work on zero sleep. We couldn’t get enough of each other. We wanted to capitalize on every moment learning everything about each other- there was just not enough time. Really, every relationship is based on time and quality of time, including the one we have with ourselves. We need to realize the significance and importance of time to foster our relationship with ourselves as we set our sights on success.
Life is not intended for us to wait around and ‘see what someone is going to do for me’ or ‘how is someone going to make me happy.’ Life is about valuing time as time is the only opportunity to accomplish the success that we have within. We are literally provided at birth what we need to exceed- moments and a lifetime. Some lifetimes are shorter than others- so what are you waiting for?
The time we take to get to know ourselves, what is important to us and drives us is critical. Reflection and getting to know who we are and what makes us tick is intended to be a humbling experience. If you cannot be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with? I believe that this is why I was so frustrated as I emerged a survivor of domestic violence with my ex. It wasn’t so much his lies to his close friends, co-workers, and his own family that bugged me, but his dishonesty with himself. Why lie to the one person that can make change?- yourself!
Our investment into ourselves pays off in infinite quantitative and qualitative results. Stop and think about this for a moment, who are you? What do you want? What is important to you?
“Desire is the starting point of all achievement,” Napoleon Hill.
If we don’t stop to think about what we desire- what is important to us, how can we achieve? More importantly, we need to evaluate what within us might lead to less than desirable results? Am I not willing to devote time? Am I not willing to optimize my time to ensure that I invest the time needed to improve me? How bad do you want it?
“When you want to be successful as bad as you want to breathe, then you will be successful,” Eric Thomas.
When you are willing to be completely honest with yourself, appreciating your shortcomings, being willing to work on improving them to optimize the time you invest in your success, then you will be successful.
Reflection is looking deep within, like a reflecting pool. Look at the surface, see the image, and then look beneath the surface. Time is of the essence, if you don’t invest the time to look and see what is there, you are missing out on opportunities.
Reflexive activity takes us from looking to improve and implementing change. For example, I see that I should spend 15 minutes every evening reading a self-improvement book, success blog like this one, and then I take action and do it. I can make excuses for what I don’t have, the time I don’t have, or I can find the time- we already have the time, we just have to be honest enough to admit we aren’t using it very well- ALL WE HAVE IS TIME! OPTIMIZE IT!
There’s no such thing as being too busy. If you really want it, you will MAKE time for it.
Jimi Hendrix once said, “I am the one who has to die when it is time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” I would like to expand on Jimi’s thought to this-
I am the one who is provided a lifetime to achieve. What will I choose to do with the time allotted? For when my time is complete, who do I have to hold accountable, but myself? So why not invest the time to know me? How can I make the greatest impact on this world with the time that I have been provided? I can wait around and make excuses or I can live life to the fullest- live every moment as if it were the last, placing a premium value on every moment.
“The trouble is, you THINK you have time,” Buddha. From the time we enter this world, time has us- it’s time to shift the power of success to you. Carpe Diem- Seize the moment- The are only two times in life, now and too late.
You got this. Make ‘It’ Happen! Have a great week.

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com . Watch for her new books to be released in 2016, Dreams Exist and How to Write a Book in 30 Days.

you There is no path to peace. Peace is the path. - Gandhi.

We live in such a busy and crazy time. From the moment we awaken, we are busy. The alarm sounds and we are jolted into action. It’s no wonder so many of us look forward to the weekend when there is no alarm calling us into action; a time when we can be still and enjoy the peacefulness and quiet of the morning.
I am definitely a morning person and I would challenge those who are not to reconsider what a new day brings. It is said that if we can reinterpret the feeling associated with our current state that we can change our reality. We know this when we stub our toe getting out of bed and immediately think, “Ugh! Is this how my day is going to start?” You have already made it a bad day. You have subconsciously stated that nothing can go well from this point forward.

It is so hard to slow down, but today, I would like to introduce to you a quick meditation practice that will not throw your schedule into a tizzy and you do not have to get up 30 minutes early to practice.  This is an exercise in peace.

Peace is within each of us and it is stillness where we are able to find peace. When our mind is so full with what we need to accomplish, from the moment we wake up, we bypass our peace. The good news is that even if you have already had a hectic day or are in the middle of chaos while reading this, your peace still awaits.

When I say that peace can be found in stillness, that does not mean that you must become paralyzed in a cocoon, isolated from society to tap into it. Peace is in you, we just need to draw it out, from wherever you are.

A great practice in the morning, following the alarm is to lay still. Feel the comfort around you as you think of how that makes you feel. When we connect our physical sensations to our inner sensations, feelings, we are primed to tap into peace.

From this state of feeling, we need to shift to a positive and appreciative train of thought. What are you appreciative for? Some may say, “Nothing. My life is horrible right now. That is why I am searching for some light of hope. I need things to get better.” Okay, let me address that thought. You are alive. You and I have an opportunity to change everything! However, we must tap into peace to unlock the power of change.

I don’t care if you are dying of cancer or your spouse just said they were leaving you. Today, you have the ultimate power to change how you feel and have a better day and more fulfilling life. This is your story; do you want a happy, never-ending story? One that lives on far beyond your last breath? I’m assuming you say yes to that. Then you need peace.

Each day is a day of renewal. Regardless of what you face in the day, the moment when you can connect with the positive energy around you – the universe is comprised of positive and negative ions – tap into the positive – it will take you places!

Awaken to an appreciative state. We all live to leave a legacy. Each day, if even our last on this earth, is another opportunity to influence those around us in a positive way. Believe me, I understand how difficult it can be sometimes when in a storm to see the light; but we must realize that the sun is behind every storm cloud.

From your bed in the morning, or where you are right now, stop. Close your eyes for a moment. Tap into a positive feeling in your body. It could even be an awareness of the comfort of your chair- just become aware.

Next, hold that comfort feeling, that positive energy, what do you appreciate about today? Did you hit one red light instead of five on way to the office? Become aware of that appreciation, “I am so happy that I hit 1 red light instead of 5 today.” Hold that feeling. Mean it. There is no bluffing in appreciation. Be true to yourself.

If you do this when you lay in bed, the moment you awake, it is most effective as it sets forth an energy that will transform your day. Make this your homework. Tomorrow when you awake, stop. Feel the softness of your bed or the coolness in the air. Stay there for a moment. What do you appreciate about in that moment? The beauty of the sun beaming through your window? The fact that you are alive and breathing? Another opportunity for today to be better than yesterday? Hold whatever it is you are appreciative for. Aloud, state, I deserve that.

By proclaiming what it is you deserve, you have set forth to the universe not only what it is that you are happy for, but you are claiming that positive energy as a part of you- what you deserve. Peace comes in that positive energy. When we hold fast to that appreciative state, we are then able to walk the path of peace for the rest of the day.

Why not make it every day? Walk in peace my friends. You deserve it. Have a beautiful day. Better yet, make today more beautiful for someone else. This is your destiny.
 
Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com . Watch for her new books to be released in 2016, The Boomerang Effect: Manifesting Your Dreams and How to Write a Book in 30 Days.

Your boss sends you an email before you arrive at work- “Can you come by my office when you get in?” Oh geez, you think- “I’m in trouble.”

Your spouse wants “to talk about something important.”  Oh no! What did I do?!
Why is it that our mind is naturally programmed for the worst-case scenario? Helen Keller stated, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope.”

The natural tendency to default our thinking into a state of fear and guilt is like junk food for the soul. It perpetuates a malnourished state of mind. What we put in, we get out. The thoughts we nourish, are the ones that grow.

Success is built upon a state of hope and confidence. We cannot break boundaries, push past limitations without an unyielding belief and confidence in what we are doing. So how do we break our junk food habit? Practice.

Turn your face towards the sun, and the shadows fall behind you. You will never find a rainbow if you are always looking down.

The art of nourishing the mind with optimism begins with appreciation. When we can look at the glass and realize that we are happy whether it appears to be half-full, empty, or filled to the brim. Technically, the glass is always full. If it appears half-full of water, it is half filled with air. If it appears empty, it is actually full. Our perception and assumptions inhibit our nutritional intake. If you want a healthy dose of nutrition for the soul, change your perspective.

Can we be overly optimistic? If in every situation we find something to appreciate, then no, as optimism is continually looking through an appreciative lens. A loss is an opportunity to improve and try again. A win, is not the end, it is the first step toward another achievement. Pessimism is seeing only the cloud; Optimism is knowing that the sun is behind it.

We can’t live on junk food. We must practice providing a nutritionally balanced diet to our soul. What we think is what becomes our reality.

It can seem like a daunting task to practice looking for the bright side and re-training your brain to think of a positive alternative to the unknown. It’s okay to think, “I wonder what they want to discuss with me.” However, if you have in mind something positive that you would like to share with them, instead, your attitude going in will definitely help you appreciate whatever news you receive.

There truly is no bad news. Some news may seem disappointing if you had an expectation or desire of a different result, but when you can find strength building food within the thought, the junk food is not a temptation.

Optimism has had a bad rap. It is not always being happy. It is appreciating everything that is thrown at you as an opportunity to say- “I’m not going to let this get me down. I appreciate a chance to be challenged, to improve, and to build confidence.

Optimism is the last hope for the defeated. Get out of the junk food habit. This week, think of something that did not go according to plan at some point in your life, that in the end was a blessing. Start by appreciating that disappointment. From there, focus on one thing you appreciate about this very moment. Hold that thought. Don’t let go.

Have an amazing week, appreciating that the glass is always full.

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com . Her new book, The Boomerang Effect: Manifesting Your Dreams will be released this holiday season.

This week, I was coaching a young lady who is at a transitionary stage in her young life. Having graduated from college and obtaining an occupational certification, she has found herself in a job that she enjoys, but she knows that where she is today is not where she wishes to be tomorrow. What I enjoyed most about talking with this young woman was her positive and grateful attitude.

Thomas Jefferson once said, “Nothing can stop a man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; Nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

The impact of a positive attitude on our success is huge. With the right attitude we can move mountains and turn mountains into molehills. If you have ever been angry and everything around you seems to fall apart, this is a result of attitude. What we put forth is exactly what we receive.

An attitude of gratitude, being thankful for what we do have, as small and insignificant as it may seem, will do wonders toward establishing a successful mindset. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, but the parent of all others” Cicero.

Our gratitude and appreciation for the small things, sets us up to be humble and appreciative of the great responsibility in the big things.

This brings me to defining success, which of course is completely unique to each of us, but there is one common characteristic that can be defined. When what we do and what we have becomes less important than what and how we can give, share, and help, then, and only then, have we truly reached success. Success is less about receiving than about giving.

Many dream of winning the lottery or landing that high-paying dream job, but why? Most will talk about the nice things that they would do for family or friends; they speak of freedom. Sure, as lottery jackpots grow into outrageous amounts, many dream extravagant dreams, but extravagant dreams are important. It is not the extravagance that is importance, but the concept of dreaming big, outside of what we know as possible.
When we think things like, “I’d finally have the time and money to take my family on vacation,” or “I’d be able to start a food program for hungry children in my area,” our thinking is taking on big thinking associated with successful thinking; we are thinking beyond ourselves.

Yesterday I participated in an event as a volunteer. What I did seemed rather insignificant in the grand scheme of the event, but had neither I, nor any of the other volunteers been there, the event could not have taken place. Thousands of people had a great time with their families. I just gave a few hours of my time- and had a great time doing so. Did I have a list of other things that needed to be done or that I could have been doing? Of course, but I have come to learn to appreciate the opportunities to give back and be grateful that I have the health, freedom, and ability to help.

What I have come to learn is that the more you thank life, the more life gives you to be thankful for.
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Now go be a difference maker. The world has enough followers! Have a great week.

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com
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Pain, disappointment, and hurt- when we experience these emotions it can be difficult to part the negative energy associated with them. It is comforting to know, that although while we are in the midst of the darkness associated with these emotions, that light is continually striving to get in. It just takes a spark of light to send darkness running and oftentimes what we miss is that the light comes from others and life around us.

The core of our being is energy. A positive, forward motion of life. We cut our finger, our body sets into motion its powerful healing energy to seal the wound. Our emotional health is no different, but our learned negative thought patterns, fearing the worst, not being able to expect the best, introduces a negative opposition to our positive natural state. Entering into a state of mindfulness can help redirect our energy and allow light into the darkness.

Mindfulness is a state of recognition of our current state in the present. It is a state of being in the present and in the moment, without concern for the experience (past) that got us to that place. What many do not realize is that the present is not just where we are. The present is not a state of all about me, but rather a state of all that is present.

We must remember that within the same ocean of crushing waves, calm exists. Our present state includes polar opposites- somewhere- and it really doesn’t matter where, the existence of an alternate state is the same. This is where the beauty in pain can be discovered.

I realize it seems like an oxymoron to state that there is beauty in pain, but in a conscious present state we can find a spark of light or raging beams of sunshine. Regardless of any current darkness, whether it is hurt, pain, a broken heart, or disappointment, beauty exists. We just need to find the light in the world to part our darkness- even if it begins as dancing fireflies against a moonless evening sky.

There is beauty all around us- a child is being born- the rush of excitement and love fills that family’s hearts- beauty and light. People are falling in love- their hearts collide in a symphony of melodic love beats- beauty and light. A 54 year old grandpa graduates college- his wife, children, and family beam with pride over his never giving up- beauty and light.

Beauty and light exist all around us, no matter where we are. Happiness, joy, and exhilaration are happening every moment somewhere in the world. We may not see it, but it exists. The positive energy is flowing into the world that we are so interconnected with. So in our darkness, light exists- therefore, darkness cannot exist. We are destined to succeed, to be happy, and to allow our positive energy to guide us toward our greater purpose- and it was never intended that this be a solo journey.

It is true that we are born into this world alone and we will leave this world alone in the context of our physical body, but as Martin Luther King Jr. so eloquently stated, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that; Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that,” it is evident that we are interconnected to each other through the beauty of light- we need each other and the energy around us that is a part of the world.

The secret to getting unstuck when we are in that dark place is connecting to the present and this includes others. We need the positive influence and energy of those people and things around us. We need to be reminded that beauty exists. This is why people pray or meditate- they are reconnecting or trying to reconnect to beauty through hope- connecting to a positive beautiful energy.

Walking along a sandy beach, with the sun pouring down upon your skin as you listen to the crashing waves- feel the beauty- realize and recognize the beauty. Recognizing the sweet smell of orange blossoms wafting in through an open window- become aware of the beauty. We have senses for a reason, to experience- allow yourself to experience beauty. “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it” Confucius. God made every sunrise and sunset for you.

This week, share with someone something positive each day. Seek to find ways to share a positive piece of news. I guarantee, by the end of the week, you will recognize that when you seek the beauty in the pain, that pain, like darkness cannot exist.

Have a super week! Namaste!

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

Has someone ever said to you, “You just need to turn that frown upside down”? Ugh! The sheer Polyannaness of this statement and seemingly oversimplification of being happy is maddening. But hold on a sec- there is far more depth and truth to this statement and many of us just pass on by, mistaking a flippant cliché for the sheer brilliance that it is.

It has been said that in the end the only regrets we have are the chances we didn’t take. How many times have you thought to yourself that you should have spoken up and didn’t? How many times have you wished you would have taken a chance on going for something that seemed out of reach? How many times are you going to relive these moments from the past?

Turn that frown upside down! This isn’t just some stupid psychobabble phrase, it’s a reminder that everything is perspective- and there are times when we need to just shift- turn away from self-pity, doubt, regret, fear, and what could have been and smile at a wide open world of opportunity.

We only regret because we choose to focus on the past. We choose to focus on lack and what we haven’t achieved. We just haven’t got there yet! Keep going. Keep trying. Turn that frown upside down means, SHIFT! Shift MUST happen if you are to recognize that although we can learn from our past, we can’t stay there if we want to move forward.

Every time we stop and say to ourselves, I wish I had…. fill in the blank….we are moving backwards, no matter how hard we are trying to move forward. I wish I had is a binding statement of regret that holds us to the past. Let it go. Shift.

Your new opportunity statement then becomes I am. I am going to take advantage of the next opportunity to….. I am going to create an opportunity to….. The power of I am, shifts you into an opportunity perspective and away from a regret perspective.

Benjamin Franklin stated, “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.” Shift! And shift quickly! Turn that frown upside down! And make people wonder what the heck you are smiling at.

Opportunity is a beautiful thing. Carpe Diem. Seize the day by letting go of what you can do nothing about. Shift to see the world of what you have not yet achieved. Shift to realize your opportunity awaits. You are only confined by the walls you build yourself.

Now go turn your frown upside down and see how different your world looks! Have a productive week full of opportunities and possibilities.

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

An acquaintance of mine recently took a lengthy road trip with his three children. He said, “If I hear, are we there yet, one more time….” You could hear the frustration in his voice as he recanted the story. Yet many of us can relate.
Do you remember long trips as a kid and asking or wondering the same question? It was a combination of boredom from our confined space and anxious excitement about the destination. We just wanted to get there-wherever that ‘there’ was.
It has been said that anticipation is nine-tenths of delight. Why is this so? Because our mind is a developer, processor, and generator of creative amazement. Without feeling the sand beneath our toes, we can imagine ourselves walking on a warm, breezy beach. Without being the CEO of a major firm, we can see ourselves sitting behind the big desk in that corner office with the sun pouring through the windows.
Our mind does not require that we purchase “add-ons” to exploit this incredible feature- It’s standard equipment. We have the built in capability to supercharge our lives through the power of delight of thought, anticipating our desires and dreams- the power of imagination.
So how do we use this power so that we don’t constantly ask, “are we there yet?” How do we unleash this power so that we do not feel like we are wandering down a path, or turning down many paths, wondering, where am I going or will I ever get to where I want to be? Most importantly, how do we use this power to achieve and succeed, realizing that our destination is never nor should be final.
Certainly there have been moments when we have made statements like, “I could just stay here forever.” But this really isn’t true. There may be aspects of that place or experience that we may greatly appreciate, but complacency should never be something we strive for. It is natural for us to continually grow, change, and move. The very nature of our cells is a continuum of energy and motion.
I remind people all the time that we really need to appreciate what comes out of the mouth of babes as their honest and curious questioning is really at the core of our success. Yes, even the embarrassing questions in the grocery line like when your three-year old asks, “Why does that man have a baby in his tummy? He’s not a girl?” This truly was a question asked by my granddaughter while my daughter was trapped in line wanting to hide. Okay, so we don’t blurt them out like little Athena, but we have to take ourselves back to the questions we asked as a child. Are we there yet? Shouldn’t we ponder this question regularly instead of being disturbed by it?
Where am I? Am I where I want to be? If not, why? What will take me to my temporary destination? I say temporary because the intent should be to remain in motion but to reach the milestone of each temporary destination.
Just like an old steamer trunk covered in stickers of destinations, so too should our lives be plastered in accomplished destinations as a part of a larger journey. Yes, we may arrive, but we need to have a plan for the next trip, next destination, and our next sticker.
There will inevitably be flat tires along the way. We fix them and move on. We might run out of gas. We find a fuel station, even if we have to push the vehicle uphill to get there (hint: others can help make this task much easier- find people that will help you push when you need it), and we fuel up.
The power to take these actions is within the mind. Think about it. When you get a flat tire, you must think, what do I need to do? I need to go to the trunk and grab the spare and the jack- or you pull out your Auto Club card (I rather like this thought better). Either way you fire up your creativity generator and resolve the problem.
When we ask ourselves if we are there yet or aiming for the place we want to be, we are firing up the generator. The key is to keep the generator fired up with follow-up questions- something like this:
Am I there yet?
No.
Where is there?
There is the top sales representative in my organization.
What is it going to take to make that happen?
What are steps I can take each day to get myself there?
What am I going to do when I run out of gas and I need help pushing?
Who do I have to help push me?
How can I enlist the help of others?
Keep it going. Keep thinking. Always keep thinking forward. This is the key to your journey. Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be?
"I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, and he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours…. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them." Henry David Thoreau- Walden or Life in the Woods.
Fire up the generator. Are we there yet?!
Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, success coach, and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

Life is not a race, it is a journey. It is so easy to rush along life's path, hugging every corner like a Ducati at high speed- but there is no prize to finish first- so why sabotage  the true prize? 

Dieter Uchtdorf said, "Sometimes we get so focused on the finish line that we fail to enjoy the journey."

I once read- life is short so live it; love is rare so grab it; dreams are real so chase it; fear is awful so face it; memories are sweet so cherish it. 
​
It seems preposterous that we need to be told to remember to savor the aspects of our lives that make up our life experience- but we seem to forget quite often to stop and enjoy the ride. It's not the destination that brings us joy, it's the journey. 

As the passenger on a trip, be it by car, train, plane, rail, or sail, it would seem we have an advantage over the driver wherein we can take in additional scenery. Or do we? At face value we are not bogged down by focusing on the direction that we are headed or  in steering the machine. We view the experience through a different lens and are provided opportunity to enjoy the ride- that is, if we choose. 

Rushing along and missing the beauty is just as easy from any angle. 

The ride of life is not a missed opportunity for the driver. Just ask an avid Harley rider, equestrian, runner, or surfer. Being in the driver's seat provides full control and the greatest opportunity. The rush of wind in one's face- the beautiful gust filling a sail. We are in the prime position to see what's coming, obstacles and opportunities. We have the power to change direction and slow down or speed up. 

As the wave gains momentum, swelling the sea behind the surfer, the rider quickly springs into position to savor the experience of the wave. The pulse of the rushing, driving, wall of water propels the board and rider into a rush of exhilaration. 

Fear could grip a novice who then chooses not to ride the wave. The choice to savor  experiences, both good or bad, the choice to take chances and to live life as the driver is in each of us. 

We are our choices. Our journey or our race- a choice. Each moment- a choice. Our fulfillment, joy, success- a choice. Our fear, our courage- it lives within us- only as we choose to create it. What we think is what we
create- and it's a choice.

Choose to live your journey- not merely exist. Slow down- enjoy your journey.

Life is really simple. We insist on making it complicated- Confucius. 

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is a mindfulness practitioner and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

As 2015 comes to an end, it's important to remember that every thought is a new opportunity for a new beginning! Happy 2016- Let's choose our new bright future- claim it, believe in it, make it happen! Happy New Year!

Why is it that people struggle with clarity? This is illustrated both professionally and personally through relationship struggles with others as well as ourselves. The common denominator in each is the last, ourselves. Francois Gautier said, “More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” Clarity begins within us.

Often what is in our head does not match what actually comes out of our brain when translated in writing or verbally, or in how we translate within our head what others are communicating to us. Certainty in what we think or communicate, our own thoughts or those being shared by others, can serve as a stumbling block, holding us back from limitless opportunities of clarity; it puts the cart before the horse. Fromm stated it best when he said, “The quest for certainty blocks the quest for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.”

Is anything truly certain? Yes, it is said that death and taxes are certain, but let’s expand on the concept of certainty and how the finality of certainty inhibits our growth, our thinking, and our relationships with others.

Have you ever sat in a meeting with someone and you were certain that the person was wrong? Argued with your friend or spouse because you were certain they didn’t have a clue what they were talking about? What happened? Did you quit listening as you developed your counter-argument?

In these moments, if we do not seek clarity, we miss out on an opportunity to seek knowledge and perhaps form deeper, more meaningful relationships. It is through the quest for clarity that we gain appreciation for others- even if we feel that they have a really stupid point of view- because they propel our thinking and our growth. Shhh…..quiet your mind and listen for a moment.

We hear statements like, “just hear me out,” or “just consider this,” these are statements of others certainty imposed into our area of uncertainty that help bring about clarity of thought through new thinking that encompasses a greater perspective. When we actually listen, without injecting our own thinking and allow ourselves to process what is being said, when we actually consider another way of thinking, we do ourselves a huge favor.

We must realize that we don’t have all the answers and when we are certain, we forego opportunity. “For my part I know nothing with certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream” Vincent Van Gogh.

Don’t get me wrong, I am, in no way stating that we should be wishy-washy and indecisive; that is not what I mean by taking a stance against certainty. We have the amazing computing ability within our minds to extrapolate, manipulate, and refine data to come up with some fabulous ideas, but when we form these ideas into a mold of certainty, there is no room for growth, expansion, and improvement.

Brainstorming sessions can be wonderful as we see the collaborative thought processes of the group morph into a collective growth of clarity. Each person communicates from a state of certainty (their opinion) that what they have to offer will solve the problem- but what is really happening is that uncertainty is driving the development of a clear idea or solution. Clarity is being sought and gained. It is the prevalence of uncertainty as to what the best solution is that cultivates an environment of seeking.

“The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain,” JFK. As we seek to understand the thoughts of others, the opinions of others, and appreciate their perspective, we can appreciate the clarity of our thoughts. We can value how the perspectives of others have led them to their own conclusion. This gives us an opportunity to communicate ideas from where they are.

Clarifying the thoughts of others within our own mind becomes a sharing, learning, and growth opportunity. It becomes an opportunity to bridge gaps, bond ideologies, and form relationships based on mutual respect and appreciation. It is an environment of open-mindedness.

Albert Einstein so brilliantly stated that, “Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved through understanding.” This week, don’t set out to be right or certain- seek clarity. Seek understanding and you will certainly find infinite opportunities in everything you do.

Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on critical thinking in organizational leadership. She is a mindfulness practitioner and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com

It has been said that brokenness is often the road to breakthrough, yet how do we move from a state of brokenness and confusion to a state of strength and hope? It’s about crushing down limited thoughts, crushing down walls rather than hitting them.

How often have you faced a serious dilemma in your life only to think, you have no options? It’s pretty easy to end up in that thinking. Believe me, I’ve been there. It’s also easy to get stuck there, which can be pretty frustrating, especially for someone who typically has no problem scaling walls. We must realize that the existence of the wall and how ominous it appears is determined in our own thinking.

“Breakthroughs happens when limiting thoughts and behaviors are challenged,” – Fabienne Fredrickson. We can see the wall like the Butterfly Wall on American Ninja Warrior or we can recognize that we just need to think in a new way and take on the challenge. It is when we stare at the wall in defeat that we fail before we begin. It is that failure and brokenness, however, that can help us transcend our current state.

What I want you to understand is that disappointment and perceived failure can be, and often is, the most important part of your breakthrough.

Life has its challenges and these are connected to our hopes, which when things don’t go according to how we want them to go, are crushed. Crushed hopes and broken dreams don’t feel good, but this is part of the process.

I could break into the theme song, Circle of Life, from the Lion King to provide some inspiration here, but stick with me.

Of course it feels much better to be on top of the world than stuck in the mire, but look at your perspective from that deep dark place. In that place, our desires, hopes, and dreams can be resuscitated. Looking down we see nothing but muck, looking up, we can see the world from an angle we hadn't seen before. We now know more. We now see more.

Everything that is real, was imagined first. From a state of brokenness and hopelessness, awareness can be realized. Awareness is an awakening to the reality of the current state, minus our limiting thoughts from our perception. It is was REALLY is, not what we FEEL it is.

So many times in life, we allow challenges to become something that they really are not. We make mountains out of molehills, per say. We build ominous walls, where there really is simply a gate that needs to be opened. Our purpose in life is not to break even, but to break rules, break records, and break through.

I’d like to encourage you today to think of your challenges from a state of what the challenges truly are, not what you perceive them to be. Only in this state of reflection will you see the true image of what needs to be done.

“For things to reveal themselves to us we need to be ready to abandon our views about them,” Thich Nhat Hanh. Broken hopes are the starting point of manifested dreams. Be encouraged- you got this!


Jolene Church is currently working on doctoral research on the effects of critical thinking programming on organizational leaders. She is a mindfulness practitioner and the co-author of the newly released, Thinking 101: Fundamentals of a Successful Mindset- available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle or at www.successfulthinkingmindset.com